Admit to yourself that if you had to choose one or the other, the perfect intimate relationship or achieving your highest purpose in life, you would choose to succeed at your purpose. Just this self-knowledge often relieves must pressure a man feels to prioritize his relationship when, in fact, it is not his highest priority.
The first item that crossed my mind when I read this was the book of Genesis. When God created Adam the first thing he gave him was not a woman, or kids, or friends – it was a job. (purpose)
Genesis 2:15: God took the Man and set him down in the Garden of Eden to work the ground and keep it in order.
He didn’t give him the woman until verse 22. Before that he was managing the land and naming all the animals. When Adam was well into his purpose God gave him someone to help him with it. Otherwise He would have just created the man and woman and said, “Alight ya’ll, have at it. ” This makes perfect sense and really resonates with me. Inside of me is my reason for being. And though our relationships are important, dare I say vital to a healthy existance, our purpose is our primary function – our reason for being.
When I am about my purpose I gain an inward peace that satisfies my deepest sense of belonging. I feel connected to the universe and the energy I gain and then give out is pleasant; a source of healing. In turn I can give totally within my relationships knowing that I took care of business. I don’t feel the burden of knowing that I neglected the reason for my living. At the same time, those that love me will respect this priority and push me towards making my full contribution to the universe. With purpose come rewards, not the least of them is peace. This peace will permeate the relationships and make them fully enjoyable.
Now my favorite word when it comes to all things pertaining to life and wisdom is, “balance.” If one has integrity he will not cheat those whom he loves out of valuable time and attention and make purpose an “excuse” not to participate or invest in the relationship. What he will do is see to it that when he does participate he is fully present, giving total attention to the person he is spending time with – without distraction. He does not think about the next task or what he will be doing tomorrow.
Being fully present in all the things we do helps to give us that sense of balance where all prioritites have the time and attention necessary.