Things of Kings, Queens, Jesters and Social Media

In this fun and entertaining tool we use called Facebook to amuse, share, rant, and express ourselves, I often read little signs with quotes about what makes a good man, a good male partner. I tend to agree with most of them but rarely if ever do I see any signs for what a woman should aspire to as it relates to what is expected of them. So ‘imma’ share a little ditty of what I’ve learned over my time.

Ladies: One vital quality that GOOD value in a woman is loyalty; Loyalty in terms of loving and supporting him regardless of his status. In other words, does he know you have his back and do you celebrate him the when he has little the same as when he has much?

What about when he loses some confidence. Do you pick him up and believe in him and make him feel safe in the confines of your embrace? Or do you kick him and make him feel less than a man, as if his value is based solely on his performance. In other words is it like the NBA where he gets in a shooting slump and instead of sticking by him saying, “No worries, you’re my guy keep on shooting,” or do you want to put him on the trading block and bring in a free agent?

The Hunt<br /><br /><br />
Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater<br /><br /><br />
Choreography by Robert Battle<br /><br /><br />
Credit photo: ©Paul Kolnik<br /><br /><br />
paul@paulkolnik.com<br /><br /><br />
nyc  212-362-7778

Do you trust his counsel and believe in his vision? Or must you hear the same words he gave you from the preacher or an outside source in order to believe it? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard brothers say, “Man I told my lady ‘such and such’ for a long time. She always dismissed it. But when the pastor preached on it she got a revelation.

Do you invest in the relationship as much as you did when you were trying to get the dude in the first place? They say, “The man is the head. But the woman is the neck that turns the head.” Do you speak to him politely using your charms to influence his heart, swing from the poles in the bedroom dazzling him with your sexual exploits with great enthusiasm like you did back in the day to keep it hot and smoking? Of did you become comfortable and less ambitious? “I ain’t got to do all that no more.”

Hey, I agree that it’s hard out here for women. I really do. And that’s why I used the word GOOD when describing this kind of man. I wouldn’t ask or expect you give all of your goodies to a fool. I would say leave the fool to foolish women in turn. Don’t try to make a good man out of a fool, cause then you’re playing yourself! . Give the kingdom to a fool and it won’t make him king worthy! He will merely destroy it. And if you went that route and failed, then don’t blame the good brother for the crimes of the fool you chose to try to make into a king.

Revelations: Choreography by Alvin Ailey<br /><br /><br />
Alvin Ailey American dance Theater<br /><br /><br />
Credit photo: ©Paul Kolnik<br /><br /><br />
paul@paulkolnik.com<br /><br /><br />
nyc  212-362-7778

But if you got a good man, a man that is not only dedicated to you but to being the best man he can be for you and the things concerning you, treats you like gold etc.;  then dammit you need to learn how to treat him and how to work it. And trust me when I tell you, when you know how to work it and make that dude the priority he needs to be, giving him that input, the wisdom, love, and encouragement that only you can, you best believe you will in turn receive ALL of the rewards on the other side of the storms that life will bring. So if you want a king, be a queen!

Now think on THAT!

(pictures from the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater)

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The Weight of the Individual


So after a three day weekend of partying, eating and debauchery I messed around and gained 7lbs. After 3 days of intense workouts and training I lost 9lbs to get back to my goal weight. I learned a few things within that process.

1) The human body is a funny thing. If you feed it junk it will desire and crave junk even more. What starts out as feeling loaded down and tiring will soon be your addiction. Additionally, if you never work out and are lazy, the body will reinforce that tendency even to the point of death. One must work hard to break these personal trends.

2) The opposite is true. If you feed your body healthy foods for the most part it will desire and crave more of these as well. If you exercise often the body will respond positively to more and more of it. It will prompt you to keep it up and build on your progress. Furthermore, one would have to work hard to undue these healthy habits and desires as well.

3) The body is a machine that programmed to quickly adapt to whatever you train it for. A well trained and disciplined body or temple will serve you well. A body full of garbage and inactivity if not retrained will literally drive itself to what I call 2nd degree suicide. Most of the unhealthy foods I ate over the weekend I consumed simply because they were there. I wasn’t hungry for most of it, but I didn’t want to waste my money.

The feelings I had inside my body told me to stop as it was rejecting the oversaturation of grease and fats. But I kept on going till I couldn’t stand it anymore. Fortunately for me, I was still in shape and motivated enough to quickly shake the damage I had done to myself.

Our bodies will be trained one way or the other. Let’s train our bodies to live and to live abundantly!

man vs food