Every man has a path to take. And within that path is the journey that he has set before him. I believe that we all have a certain destiny/destination within us though sometimes its hard to figure out. Of course all men have both their similarities and differences as well. We are motived by different things. For some of us its money. For others its pride, and for others even love for the purpose itself.
Along that path a man gets help from variou sources. You see there is no such thing as a self-made man. It just doesn’t work that way. I was laid off of a position I held for 11 years and during a class where they taught us how to get a leg back up in the job market I learned that 85% of all jobs filled in America are because of word of mouth. That means that no matter how ‘qualified’ one is, the likelihood that he will get that position solely based on his resume’, experience and interview skills, unless he knew someone who could influence the person making the decision hire, out of say 100 applicants, he only had a 15% chance of getting the job. This is just one example.
Even in starting a business people have to favor you in lending advice and or capital. Perhaps you catch just the right deal on that building or leasing plan. Something has to happen when the universe gets behind you to push a successful vibe your way.
There is another element that I would like to talk about when it comes to the success of a man; his inner circle – specifically the woman in his life.
In today’s society there is often more of a competitive spirit among couples than there is unity. Instead of having a cohesive unit where vision is shared and built upon together, there is a push/pull of egos for power and influence. I believe there are many reasons for this. Most of them have to do with our own insecurities or trying to make a person do something that he/she may not be ready for. For example, a man can’t convince a woman to stand by him and support his vision if she has no desire to support him. And a woman can’t convince a man to have a vision if he is not motivated to have one.
I heard a story years ago where a reporter asked a former first lady what would have happened if she had married another man she had been with previously. Her answer was that the previous guy would have been president instead of the then current president. Why is that? Because she was a kingmaker. In other words, whoever she married was going be president, or great. Because it was something about her love and motivation, her ability to touch her man in the secret places where his greatness lie dormant or in seed form and bring his greatness out.
Some women are just the opposite. Instead of king making they’d rather destroy the potential in their man because of fear or insecurity. They spend their time putting him down or crushing his spirit because they are afraid that if he were to reach his potential and be great he may leave her behind.
A kingmaker is not insecure in her man’s potential of success. In fact, she demands it. She will not settle for less than for the greatness she sees in his spirit; or the thing she recognizes as his gift to the world. She will not be fearful of the consequences, possible popularity or notoriety that are the fruits of success. For she feels it’s more important for him to be empowered to make the mark and the difference he should for his time and dispensation on the earth. (Even if it adversely affects her)
A kingmakers reward is the king. She sees purpose and destiny first. She sees the calling of God and the importance of making an impact on society that is needed. The people who need to be touched and lives that need to be changed.
And if the king is smart, once he reaches the level of his greatness he will not forget from where he came. Not only will he be humble in the midst of the blessings surrounding his gifts in expression he will treasure those who helped him to get there…. especially his kingmaker. He will fully understand and appreciate his kingmaker cause she believed in him and encouraged him when no one else did. When everyone else questioned his worth, value and intentions. She was the one who believed and remained faithful to the vision he didn’t even know he had yet. She will be the one still there once the mission is completed or if the opportunity to present those gifts are taken away.
Some men like myself have lots of potential. I have gifts to give to people and blessings to share. I do that now mostly everyday. But there is something greater ahead. A greater level of influence. And I admit that I am learning to accept and love myself more and more all the time as it relates to these gifts. Getting therapy has helped a lot and I am seeing more and more my potential. Equally true is that I would like to thank my kingmaker. The one who demands that I get the help and assistance I need to be the best I can be. The one who believes in me even when I am not sure of myself. The one who always encourages me in the midst of my greatest challenges.
To her I would say, “Thank you for believing. Thank you for encouraging. Thank you for listening without judgment. Thank you for pushing in all the right directions. Thank you for demanding that I be great!”
Salud to you, C-Haze!