Great Intimacy, Great Risk, Great Love;
One thing about receiving true love that I have found to be true is that we cannot experience it unless our hearts are truly and totally open to receiving it. This is generally a difficult thing to do because we naturally tend to self protect. Well, actually we don’t start out self protecting. If we are blessed to have loving relationships from the beginning at birth, certainly this infant is not shy at all about any form of self expression. The infant isn’t scared to be open about it’s needs and desires. It’s only after rejection do we begin to put up defenses.
As we get older and experience life, disappointment, or betrayal we tend to develop as a survival tool the ability to open little cracks here and there of ourselves. We learn what we are comfortable with exposing and during that process especially early on we stand ready with the proverbial STOP button when something doesn’t feel right about it. Some things may hurt a little or piss us off. But the button kicks into gear with phrases like, “I knew this was going to happen.” This just adds another chink to the heart armor and take that suit to the next encounter.
Well, it is only when I take off my suit of armor do I receive this gift. I must open myself up, my heart, my conscious. And I leave nothing in the way of protection or survival. I must trust her with my heart. As life goes on I’ll learn how this looks as we experience new adventures giving us opportunities to develop character within our relationship. I want the best intimacy that God/The Universe has to offer. And though we are fully grown adults, full of love and experience… experience that I expect us to use in wisdom to help us grow; still I must give her all of me so that she can give me her wonderful unconditional love and acceptance. That she can embrace me in all of my glory, and all of my shortcomings. To know that I am never judged, but I am always loved to the bitter end. This kind of love inspires me to be better and reach all of my potential.
When I played sports. I was very competitive. And there were times when coaches or teammates were really forward in correcting something I did or didn’t do. Depending on how I felt about the coach or the teammate, revealed how I took that criticism. If you had credibility in my life, then you can really get on me and I’ll receive it. But even more so… is after that criticism, argument or fight I am the type of person that the more faith you express in me the more I am apt to accomplish even more than I thought I could on my own. I am a person who loves to encourage by nature. And when the right people encouraged me, I go above and beyond because of my natural bent towards loyalty. I believe in loyalty so much! I’m happy to prove that confidence in me will be rewarded, not disappointed.
So in relating this to such a precious friendship, relationship, bond, commitment promises, and covenant, she is to be my ultimate teammate, partner, life coach, intimate soulmate. She has the credibility to teach, correct, adding input to my life, my character, my manhood. She can challenge me in love and help make me to be all the man I need to be. In turn, because my heart is open, because I trust her with me knowing that she will never leave, forsake or betray me, my only response is to take heed to her intelligence and insight, and work my ass off to earn her praise. Then as she praises me even unexpectedly, when I least expect it, I am humbled and blessed, thankful as I waddle in her love. For you see she has my heart in her hands. She is in charge of it. She will keep it safe. And I love her for taking on this heart of mine.