Dear Cleveland Browns,
You are almost there! A chance at history. Yes YOU can go down as immortal!
You were almost there last year but you blew it! You were 1-15. So close. But as we know close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades right? Once again you are at the precipice. Look, I admit I haven’t watched a single NFL game this year. I’ve been down with the Kaepernick protest. But your achievements have not gone unnoticed. I want you to know that I am pulling for you!
You have a chance to join the elite of self destruction! The 1960 Dallas Cowboys, the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the 1982 Baltimore Colts and the 2008 Detroit Lions. What do they all have in common? Yes you guessed it! An 0 for season. You too and join these epic losers and mark your names forever in the oracles of defeat!
Listen, this is no time to lose focus! You must finish what you started. One more game left. No time to get stones now. No knuckling down! Immortality is waiting at the door! Your last game is in Pittsburgh. I am a Steelers fan but I promise that has nothing to do with the goal at hand. No, this is about YOU! Your opportunity to run the table in reverse!
So my advise is simple. You’ve heard these saying before. But I will remind you!
When the going gets tough…. Quit!
If at first you don’t succeed… Quit!
If you find yourself on the brink of winning… QUIT!
The best revenge is ….. failure!
Fumble the ball, throw an interception, allow a touchdown if you have to. This is no time to gain confidence and execute! Finish what you started!
Cleveland I’m counting on you! Do it! Finish strong! Being home one of the most rarest feats in sports. 0-16 baby! Bring it home to Papa!