Charlie Bubba on AIG and Imus

It was a slow Monday evening.  No college basketball on television.  The World Baseball Classic is totally irrelevant no matter what Tommy Lasorda says about it being something we should care about.  So what was I to do?  Been a while since I’ve been over on the East Side.  So I head to one of my favorite watering holes for some special Crown.  The bartender called and told me that somehow he got a bottle of the Cask No 16 that Hines Ward was giving away to his teammates after the SuperBowl.  I was down for that!

No sooner than I walk in the door… I see my main man Charlie Bubba ghetto philosopher and street scholar of the hood.  It had been a while since I’d seen Charlie.  Or (Cholly) as we call him.  I thought to myself, “Now I know the evening will be exciting.  We can talk about the NCAA tournament.  Manny Ramirez or something.  But no politics cause I was tired of the news as it is.”  I tried to head him off at the pass when he laid eyes on me.

Me: Cholly whats up baby!  Who you got going to the Final 4?  Who’s going to take it all!

Cholly: Fuck that nigga!  That shit ain’t coming on till Thursday.  It’s MONDAY fool!  Hell who gone be president in 2012?  Who gone be Bristol Palin’s next baby-daddy.  Hell I don’t know.  Gotta wait till it get here.  Shit.

Me: Dang Cholly why you all “sensitive” today? 

Cholly: Man these fools tried to take my crib – 4Close on a nigga.  While these fuckers at AIG, (Always Is Gangsta) taking MY tax dollars for god-damn bonuses and shit?

Why did I ask?  He got me.

Cholly: Come on C!  How many times these white boys, these anti-big government, anti-government helping out anybody, anti-welfare shit on the little man leaches keep coming back to the Amerikkkan people begging for hand-outs?  I hope Bama (Obama) knows what he’s doing.  Cause last time he talked about how it wasn’t about being pissed at them, but about saving the economy even though they pissed over the last stash they got.  Now they just made an ass out of him as far as I’m concerned.  Cause the same shit keeps happening over and over again. Give them assholes money, and they put it in their pockets.  Then I hear this broad talking on TV about how they were “contractually obligated” to give these bonuses.  What?  Like they were contractually obligated to give them money for the hoes they paid for at the spa a few months back?  Right?  That’s some bullshit!  First of all, who is giving out the bonuses anyway?  The same mother fuckers who asked for the money?  The same folks who are on the board deciding that they were “contractually obligated” to pay themselves all that loot?  The same jokers who’s decisions ran the company down in the first place?  What kinda shit is that?

Cholly was really angry.  I tried to get a word in but he kept going.

Cholly: And what if somebody with some balls at the top decided that these bonuses were not going to be given out.  If the others tried to sue, what fuckin judge is going to side with them.  I know they don’t write up contracts that say, ‘Even if you run the company into the ground and we are strapped for cash, we’ll still give you millions for the trouble you put us in.’  I just don’t see that happening.  And hell if they didn’t get multiple bailouts, where the fuck would they have gotten the money?  I’m telling you man!  They say they don’t want no socialist government and shit, but they can’t be trusted to run these businesses on their own obviously!  And why is Bama nem’ keep giving them the money with no fuckin oversite?  You keep trusting the same robbers and thieves to do the right thing?  That just goes to show you.  White folks broke the mode on crime I don’t care what they say?

Me: Well man you have said a mouthful Cholly.  Care for some of this No. 16 to take the edge off? 

Cholly took the drink and swished it around his mouth before swallowing.  “This some good shit here boy!”

Me: I’m sorry about…

Cholly: And did you get a load of that Imus bullshit he was saying about his prostate cancer?  ‘I think I got this from stressing all that media pressure at my doorstep a while back. ‘ First of all I don’t give a fuck about your prostate!  Second of all you opened your fool ass mouth and said some shit you shouldn’t have calling some black college educated women, ‘nappy headed hoes’ and then blame us for making your life stressful?  Cry me a fucking malt liquor bitch!  Sucks to be you huh? I tell you C, only in this country do white folks think such dumb ass shit.  Then he calls Giuliani about his dick getting hard.  First off Rudy ain’t getting no pussy he ain’t paid for.  Have you seen that guy? What is going to do, rub his little cabbage patch head against a woman’s…

Me: CHOLLY! That’s too much information bruh!

Cholly: Yea you know what I’m saying.  Who would want to fuck Imus anyway?  That crinkled up old dude.  Every timeI see him I think to myself, “There goes Maude!”  Look at his face, the way it looks if it can get hard he can use that!  He may want to get it circumcised first… 

Me: Alright Cholly I’m about to bounce. 

After a couple glasses of the No. 16, I was good to go but Cholly was just getting started.  This was my time to exit cause he was already on a mission as it is.

Me: Cholly man I’m sorry about the house?  What are you gonna do about it?

Cholly: Man I don’t know.  But Cholly Bubba always work thangs out.   Maybe I can catch one of them AIG niggas at the ATM machine.

I gave Cholly some dap and bid bye to he and the rest of the patrons.  Always having to have the last word though…

Cholly: Louisville!  Rick Pitino bitches!  Cardinals all the way over that robot Tyler Hansbrough for the championship!

Me: Whatever!  Carolina all the way! 

The Conservative White Male/Vagina Vote – Bull Shiggidy!

I have to tell you – I have had it up to here with the McCain/Palin ticket, their media manipulators and the STUPID Americans that are still allowing themselves to be playd by their foolishness. 

You would think that when people see that the house is burning, they would have the good sense to get out.  But oh no!  Some of these fools would rather get burned than to have a black fire fighter help them out.  I SAID IT – YES I DID! 

Look all around us.  The war against terrorism as it relates to Iraq has been a dismal failure.  It was doomed from the start.  It’s so tired we don’t even talk about it anymore.  The economy is in the tank.  Freddie and Fannie are hanging on by way of welfare, Lehman Brothers, a Wall Street baller for almost 160 years is shot to shiggidy Merrill Lynch almost 95 years old sold out to Bank of America, and now AIG.  Unemployment is rampant, the mortgage crisis continues to swell and this fool McCain maintains that the economy is fundamentally strong.  What the fudge? 

It makes sense that to him things are fine.  Hell, he has 8 houses neither of which I am sure are in danger of being in foreclosure status, and his wife has more money than God.  His finances are quite “fundamentally strong.”  I ain’t hating.  But damn come on America.  Some of y’all are still going for this crap?  I work on the trading floor of one of the biggest securities exhange firms in the world, and I hear the rumblings every day. 

As for Palin, this woman who has no freggin idea what she has gotten herself into – makes a fool out of herself while interviewing soft ball throwing Charles Gibson saying that we would actually fight Russia because Georgia is a part of NATO.  WRONG!  And yet the polls in mid September are still close and some of y’all want this woman in the VP’s chair?  She has all kinds of shiggidy going on at home that she refuses to answer to.  After 8 years of corruption you would think Americans would have had enough.  It’s one thing for rich people to vote for the McCain/Palin ticket.  They obviously think their coffers won’t get touched.  Recent history shows otherwise.  If a rising tide lifts all boats, surely if you keep drilling holes in the Titanic it will eventually sink too.  I can see if they are blind to this.  But for middle to lower class Americans to even consider this foolery is beyond me.

Many Americans played themselves when “W” got into office.  They thought Gore was old time Washington and an extension of Clinton.  “W” came off as the hick guys wanted to have a beer with.  So never-mind he seemed out of touch with the basic needs of the nation – they just wanted a good ole’ boy, a cowboy like Ronald Reagan to be in office.  The second term was more of the same.  They allowed scare tactics about terrorism and swift boat ads to down Kerry, who was a war hero.  I know Kerry was not the idea candidate, but you picked a man who ran from service over a man who served with honor.   If you felt that service in war was not enough to be pres.,  what the hell happened to that thinking?  How did McCain’s service record over the same period become such a virtue for the presidency?  Speaking of Gore, are the McCain people saying this dude invented the Blackberry now?  But I digress. 

Some women are still bitter about Obama’s victory over Clinton. So they are willing to vote with their vaginas and going with Palin, a woman who stands for everything Hillary doesn’t.  What kind of shiggidy is that?  Black folks did not endorse Clarence Thomas for the supreme court because he was black.  We know that everyone who is our skin folk are not necessarily our kin folk.  We would rather have had another white man who was fair than a black man who is a garden tool for neo-conservative interest and a puppet of Justice Scalia’s.  Women need to learn the same message.  Making history is one thing, damaging your future for the sake of making history is another.  You think she is a friend to the average woman?  Check how how she deals with rape and domestic violence against women in the state of Alaska. When she was mayor of Wasilla, women who were raped or sexually abused had to pay for their own rape kits.   

I’ve already made it known to some and I will say it publicly.  If McCain/Palin get the White House, and we find that the difference were Clinton supporters who decided that they didn’t want to vote for a black man, even a black man who has their economic interest at heart – a man who has the best ideas for this country who happens to be black – you will get exactly what you deserve over the next 4-8 years.  I’m telling you NOW don’t cry on my shoulders cause I ain’t gone have NO love for ya!  When your jobs go bye bye , you can’t put your kids in college and fuel and food cost push crime to an all time high… I don’t want to hear it!  It’s amazing how racism is such a cancer and yet people would rather die from the self inflicted sickness of it than do something to help themselves – simply because the help may come by way of the dark hand that they are not used to.  AMAZING! 

SIDE NOTE: White Democrats who voted for Hillary but who choose not to vote for Obama should remember that it was the black vote that put the Clinton’s over the top TWICE.  It was the black vote that stuck with Bill through Whitewater and Monica Lewinski.  Why do you think he went around thinking he was the first black president?  It was black women who stood by Hillary when Bill was gettin’ head in the Oval Office and said she was courageous.  And now some of y’all act like you can’t vote for the black man who beat her?  If you can’t do right, never again ask me to participate in putting another white democratic nominee in the highest office.  My vote will not be whored out to those who can’t appreciate or represent me when the time comes.  Back to the issue at hand. 

Lets compare and contrast.  McCain supporters refer to Obama as being a glorified speech maker with no real solutions.  McCain hasn’t even spoken on the issues, cause he’s too busy distracting us with lipstick comments about Palin.  McCain supporters call Obama elitist.  What?  Are you saying a man who has achieved great things like becoming the first African-American head of the Harvard Law Review, and taught 12 years of Constitutional law is elitist?  What – because he’s smart?  What?  You don’t want him upholding the constitution?  You would rather have a dumb or lesser informed person in the White House?  You are just like the kids in school who put down the kids making straight A’s saying they are “acting white.”

Let’s be clear.  This race isn’t about issues.  It’s all about race and gender… mostly race.  I hope for the sake of the nation the majority of us make the right decision – but if not – I don’t want to hear any more bellyaching from the folks who put these clowns in charge after they flub up the rest of the country.

This is some Bull Shiggidy!