When I went to school, one of the things that amazed me was the way colleges get over on things like books.  I mean I would buy a used text book for $100 sometimes that I was only going to use for 8 weeks.  Then when I’d take the book back they’d give me $20 for it.  Of course they sell the jenk for $100 again since it’s still in great condition.  I would say to myself, “Ya’ll sho nuff some pimps for real!”

I recently got a hold of a brochure for another college hustle.  Bed sheets.  That’s right.  It seems that the beds in some of these colleges are not made like standard beds you buy for your home.  Therefore you have to get these special made sheets to fit them.  Check out how this brochure reads from the UMKC (University of Missouri Kansas City) Residential Life Business Office:

REGULAR SHEETS WON’T FIT OUR BEDS

THESE SHEETS ARE GUARANTEED TO FIT.

In previous years, some students always showed up with sheets that did not fit the beds on campus.  Parents were frustrated, and some students were left literally “short sheeted” and unable to properly make their beds.  This is not how we want your student’s first nights at the University of Missouri-Kansas City to be remembered.

To solve this problem, we made a special arrangements last year with a manufacturer to reserve one set of custom-fitted, first quality linens for each student.  This ensured that these hard-to-find sheets, comforters and mattress pads met our size and quality requirements.  It also allowed us to pass along a good deal to new students.

Over 70% of buyers purchased one of the convenient, discounted Value Paks.  Each features significant savings with free bonus items.  With a choice of 3 Value Paks in over 20 color combinations, it’s an easy and affordable way to get everything you need all at once.  Value Paks are also shipped to your home free.

(BBG’s notes – now check out the next part)

The program was a huge success.  On move-in day, students who took advantage of the program were able to make their beds without hassle, and parents thanked us for eliminating a time consuming search.  That’s why we are endorsing the program again this year.

**** I could go on with the rest of the form, but I think you get the point by now.  These sheets and Value Paks which include towels and pillows for instance start from $125 – $200.  This hustle from making the beds an unusual size so that one cannot bring their own sheets.  At least that is what it seems to be saying. 

 Perhaps the beds are the same as any twin or standard college dorm bed.  Regardless it’s hilarious to me.  The only thing they need in this brochure was a picture of Billy Mays. 

If my sheets didn’t “fit” just right that I’d brought from home, I think I would have managed OK with that.