Master Manipulator? Or Sad Girl? (From Fellow Blogger WitchyWisdoms)

A very thoughtful read!

 

Truth be told, I got the idea for this blog post by watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

And some of these women have supremely repressed issues that not only keep bubbling to the surface, but end up shaping their reality.

And it got me thinking… are the people that we think are master manipulators, puppeteers, or social chess players really that cunning? Or is fear the one running the show?

Like for instance, at the end of my infamous relationship, I called my ex boyfriend a sociopath. I was convinced that he had all of his ducks in a row and was playing a game with me in order to bleed me dry.

But upon further contemplation, I’m realizing that the moves he made that led me to believe he was psychotic were actually his feeble attempts at trying to hide his tracks. He would steal cash from my secret spot in my intimates drawer, and when I would freak out thinking I had lost money, he would suggest keeping a log of the money I put in there after a nights work or walking with me to deposit it in the ATM.

Sociopath, right? Well, not exactly.

He had an impulse, and a hunger to feed. His heroin habit was life or death, so he stole from me. In lucid moments, he would feel guilty and not want to do the things he’s done, so he would suggest honorable solutions to protect HIMSELF.

Where I thought he planned his abuse, like the reversed King of Swords who is indicative of a mastermind, I was giving him far too much credit. In actuality, he was swimming in a swirling pool of lies, depression, anxiety, and hopelessness, which is told by the Nine of Swords. His despair created the illusion of calculation.

Don’t be confused, that is not an excuse for him. Rather, a deeper understanding into the sadness that repressed emotions create and how they can shape your world. When I would ask him if he took the money, he would scream and shout and cry, much like the girls on that reality show. He was sad. And he was caught.

If you see a girl/ boy/ whomever who seems calculated, they probably don’t even realize they are doing it. They are guided by a hunger that they need to feed, and their impulse, their trauma, is creating a world in which it is the epicenter. If you’ve lost your husband and you fear so greatly that you will lose anyone else, that trauma is going to live your life for you, if not dealt with. It might show up by trying to gain someones trust by telling another persons secrets. Or giving yourself over completely to someone right away. Or isolating a specific, maybe less aware, individual so that you two become synonymous. And that is not creating a bond. That is creating codependency.

So if there is someone that you fear in your life that seems like a calculated shrew, take a closer look. There’s probably some pain there. And if this person is you, maybe it’s time to stand still and face the trauma. Stay aware, and stay witchy ( *)

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WednesdayWisdoms: What Are You Grateful For? (From Guess Blogger Witchy Wisdoms)

It is easy for us to say that we are grateful for everything we have, but what does that mean? What is everything?

If we wrap up all of the intricacies into one term labeled “everything,” we minimize some of the most important aspects in our lives. So for this weeks practice, we’re going to make a list.

I want you to start out with a list of twenty things that you are grateful for. I know that sounds like a daunting number, but once you get flowing you’ll realize you have so much you never accounted for! You can start with some big ones: the fact that you’re alive, your family, that you have two legs (if you do) just to get the ball rolling. Then, slowly, get more and more personal. Is there someone in your life that makes it better? Is there a particular family heirloom that makes you smile every morning? Do you possess a skill or trait that makes your world a better place?

I wrote my list above. Look it over and see if it brings you inspiration. Then write yours out. REALLY set time aside for it. And when you’re done, post it somewhere you will see everyday. Above the kitchen sink or bathroom mirror. Somewhere super visible. Post it with a mala or your favorite crystal. Bring some light and energy into it. The more emphasis you place on this list, and the more reminders that you have to be grateful, the less space you will have in your heart for the negative.

And you are highly encouraged to KEEP ADDING! If you think of something new to be grateful for, pop that bad boy of the list and watch it add some more shine. Sprinkle it with glitter. Kiss it with lipstick. Love that list because it makes your world great.

Stay grateful, and stay witchy ( *)

Being Alone: From fellow blogger Witchy Wisdoms 4/19/17

This sister has some deep and very meaningful messages. Wanted to share this one.  Enjoy or reflect.  Thanks Witchy!

WednesdayWisdoms: Being Alone

I think a lot of the reason why we dive into unhealthy behaviors is because we’re afraid of being alone. It can be terrifying to be by ourselves and faced with our truths, so we run in a myriad of ways.

When I started this blog and publicly dove into the depths of my mind, I was all alone swimming in a scary pool of self doubt. But I needed to explore the depths before going back to the surface. It cleansed me.

So for this weeks practice, I want you to be alone. Read a book, write in a journal, do a yoga session, make jewelry, read your own tarot cards, do arts and crafts, take a bath, literally ANY hobby. But do it without distraction. Not with a glass of wine. Not while the TV is on. Not with a huge bag of chips or candy.

Go on a date with yourself and see what you find. What is intriguing in your mind? Do you find that inner critic coming up? Can you follow the advice from last Wednesday to quiet it?

Spend at least an hour doing this solitary activity, and then, when you are done, write down how you feel. Write down what you learned. Make concrete observations and force yourself into self awareness.

The more you practice this, the more you will learn to appreciate yourself. You will open up a Pandora’s Box of creativity, but maybe not until you flush out some monsters. This exercise, over time, will increase your confidence because YOU will know YOU inside and out.

It might be scary at first, and if it is, write it down. Write down why. Show yourself some compassion for being scared. It takes courage to face your truth.

So get out of your comfort space, get alone, and stay witchy ( *)