Tag Archives: hines ward

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Charlie Bubba on AIG and Imus

It was a slow Monday evening.  No college basketball on television.  The World Baseball Classic is totally irrelevant no matter what Tommy Lasorda says about it being something we should care about.  So what was I to do?  Been a while since I’ve been over on the East Side.  So I head to one of my favorite watering holes for some special Crown.  The bartender called and told me that somehow he got a bottle of the Cask No 16 that Hines Ward was giving away to his teammates after the SuperBowl.  I was down for that!

No sooner than I walk in the door… I see my main man Charlie Bubba ghetto philosopher and street scholar of the hood.  It had been a while since I’d seen Charlie.  Or (Cholly) as we call him.  I thought to myself, “Now I know the evening will be exciting.  We can talk about the NCAA tournament.  Manny Ramirez or something.  But no politics cause I was tired of the news as it is.”  I tried to head him off at the pass when he laid eyes on me.

Me: Cholly whats up baby!  Who you got going to the Final 4?  Who’s going to take it all!

Cholly: Fuck that nigga!  That shit ain’t coming on till Thursday.  It’s MONDAY fool!  Hell who gone be president in 2012?  Who gone be Bristol Palin’s next baby-daddy.  Hell I don’t know.  Gotta wait till it get here.  Shit.

Me: Dang Cholly why you all “sensitive” today? 

Cholly: Man these fools tried to take my crib – 4Close on a nigga.  While these fuckers at AIG, (Always Is Gangsta) taking MY tax dollars for god-damn bonuses and shit?

Why did I ask?  He got me.

Cholly: Come on C!  How many times these white boys, these anti-big government, anti-government helping out anybody, anti-welfare shit on the little man leaches keep coming back to the Amerikkkan people begging for hand-outs?  I hope Bama (Obama) knows what he’s doing.  Cause last time he talked about how it wasn’t about being pissed at them, but about saving the economy even though they pissed over the last stash they got.  Now they just made an ass out of him as far as I’m concerned.  Cause the same shit keeps happening over and over again. Give them assholes money, and they put it in their pockets.  Then I hear this broad talking on TV about how they were “contractually obligated” to give these bonuses.  What?  Like they were contractually obligated to give them money for the hoes they paid for at the spa a few months back?  Right?  That’s some bullshit!  First of all, who is giving out the bonuses anyway?  The same mother fuckers who asked for the money?  The same folks who are on the board deciding that they were “contractually obligated” to pay themselves all that loot?  The same jokers who’s decisions ran the company down in the first place?  What kinda shit is that?

Cholly was really angry.  I tried to get a word in but he kept going.

Cholly: And what if somebody with some balls at the top decided that these bonuses were not going to be given out.  If the others tried to sue, what fuckin judge is going to side with them.  I know they don’t write up contracts that say, ‘Even if you run the company into the ground and we are strapped for cash, we’ll still give you millions for the trouble you put us in.’  I just don’t see that happening.  And hell if they didn’t get multiple bailouts, where the fuck would they have gotten the money?  I’m telling you man!  They say they don’t want no socialist government and shit, but they can’t be trusted to run these businesses on their own obviously!  And why is Bama nem’ keep giving them the money with no fuckin oversite?  You keep trusting the same robbers and thieves to do the right thing?  That just goes to show you.  White folks broke the mode on crime I don’t care what they say?

Me: Well man you have said a mouthful Cholly.  Care for some of this No. 16 to take the edge off? 

Cholly took the drink and swished it around his mouth before swallowing.  “This some good shit here boy!”

Me: I’m sorry about…

Cholly: And did you get a load of that Imus bullshit he was saying about his prostate cancer?  ‘I think I got this from stressing all that media pressure at my doorstep a while back. ‘ First of all I don’t give a fuck about your prostate!  Second of all you opened your fool ass mouth and said some shit you shouldn’t have calling some black college educated women, ‘nappy headed hoes’ and then blame us for making your life stressful?  Cry me a fucking malt liquor bitch!  Sucks to be you huh? I tell you C, only in this country do white folks think such dumb ass shit.  Then he calls Giuliani about his dick getting hard.  First off Rudy ain’t getting no pussy he ain’t paid for.  Have you seen that guy? What is going to do, rub his little cabbage patch head against a woman’s…

Me: CHOLLY! That’s too much information bruh!

Cholly: Yea you know what I’m saying.  Who would want to fuck Imus anyway?  That crinkled up old dude.  Every timeI see him I think to myself, “There goes Maude!”  Look at his face, the way it looks if it can get hard he can use that!  He may want to get it circumcised first… 

Me: Alright Cholly I’m about to bounce. 

After a couple glasses of the No. 16, I was good to go but Cholly was just getting started.  This was my time to exit cause he was already on a mission as it is.

Me: Cholly man I’m sorry about the house?  What are you gonna do about it?

Cholly: Man I don’t know.  But Cholly Bubba always work thangs out.   Maybe I can catch one of them AIG niggas at the ATM machine.

I gave Cholly some dap and bid bye to he and the rest of the patrons.  Always having to have the last word though…

Cholly: Louisville!  Rick Pitino bitches!  Cardinals all the way over that robot Tyler Hansbrough for the championship!

Me: Whatever!  Carolina all the way! 

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Super Sunday in Tampa

Two weeks is definitely enough time to wait around for the Super Bowl.  For the teams, they get a chance to enjoy the moment and perhaps heal or recover a bit from a season full of hits.  But for the media, they tend to run out of things to say and it get’s pretty redundant.

“Hey, did you know that Kurt Warner used to bag groceries?” 

“Did you know Cardinals coach Ken Whiesenhunt used to coach the Steelers and wanted the job after Cowher retired?”

“Jerome Bettis is from Detroit,”  and “Tyler Hansborough plays hard,” is tired of hearing it.  But it is what it is.  Such are the story lines that we have to listen to over and over again leading up to the big game.  Normally I just stay away from it so I won’t get a case of Super Bowl Media Coverage Overkill.

I will readily admit that I am a die hard Steelers fan.  I grew up adoring the black and gold as much as I did the purple and gold of the Lakers.  I had the priviledge of meeting Bradshaw, Swan, Stallworth, Franco, Blier, Greene, Lambert, Blount, etc. as a kid on a hot training camp day in Latrobe, PA.   I am in no way less impressed with this crew of Big Ben, Hines, Palo, and Farrior.  I would love to see US get another ring for the other hand.

        

Still, I can’t hate on my man Larry Fitzgerald.  He has mad game and went to the University of Pittsburgh.  I am glad I already invested in his authentic #11 jersey a couple years ago.  I’m sure I’ll rock it sometime this week as a show of respect that I have for him and the way he plays the game.

Generally, people in St. Louis still have plenty of affection for Warner.  He brought us a Super Bowl victory and if it were not for Mike Martz outsmarting himself and freezing Marshall Faulk out of the next Super Bowl they played in we would have had another one.  Kurt is definitely hot and feeling it right now and I don’t take that from him.  Still I think he left St. Louis like a sucka.  They were losing game after game, he threw pick after pick, and he led the league in fumbles ala Tony Banks.  Yet instead of taking some responsbility for his bad play, he never did.  Instead he whined about how the team seemed to not want him to read his bible at practice. 

I was like, “Hell when you’re winning read all the scriptures you want.  But if not, try the play book when your at Rams Park for practice.” 

Same thing when he went to the Giants.  He played like crap and never owned it.  But when he’s winning, it’s Jesus this and Jesus that.  Never Jesus when they lost, just excuses.

That’s my rant.  Still you wouldn’t find many people that don’t think Kurt is a good guy.  I am sure he is.  And I am genuinly happy for him getting another crack at it.

Much love to my friends Vonda and her husband Sponce.  I grew up with Vonda and we were together on that training camp trip as kids.  Her and hubby own 4 Steeler season tickets at  Heinz Field and they will be at the game on Sunday.  (Hey V, I’m looking for my gear in the mail…. what’s up? ) 

Anyway, hardly no one I hear gives the Cardinals a chance.  Most of the pundits are predicting a blowout.  I can’t figure that one out.  This may be the Cardinals first look at a title.  And the Steelers have a great defense and 20 something guys from the last Super Bowl winning team on this one.  Still the Birds are hot.  Fitzgerald is playing out of his mind, and if Bolden is not fussing with his O cordinator on the sidelines, he can be a game breaker himself.  I hope the Steelers aren’t believing the hype and expect to be in for a battle.

And so it is.  My dad was a Big Red fan when the football team was here in St. Louis.  He loved Terry Metcalf, Roy Green, Jim Hart, Dan Dierdorf, and Ottis Anderson.  For years and years Bill Bidwill didn’t seem to care whether the team won or lost – only if they made money – much to the dismay of many loyal fans.  I think a lot of them will root for the Cardinals on Sunday – Especially with that Warner connection.   As I said, I am happy for them – but don’t get it twisted.  I will have my terrible towel with me waving it in front of some TV set.  My loyalties are with Mike Tomlin and the Steel City! 

Even the president is with me on this one… I’m just sayin!

Enjoy the game everyone~

Go Steelers!