…  or musings from being intoxicated during Monday Night Football

* Well with the Dow dropping in record numbers and the Bail Out plan in pieces on the floors of congress, I figure it’s going to take an “Incredible” to fix the economy.  Seriously!

* So I was in the hood the other day.  Picked up a bootleg copy of that new Samuel L. Jackson movie, “Lakeview Terrace.”  Sometimes you really have to watch those bootlegs.  I mean a guy can get ripped off.  I knew something was wrong when I saw Snoop Dogg playing Sam’s role.  Yea the c.o.p was being played by the D. O. Double G.  And then these bootleggers get all imaginative with their movies adding stuff that’s not supposed to be there.  They like to mix movies like a DJ mixes hip hop records.  So my bootleg copy of Lakeview was combined with Tyler Perry’s, Diary of a Mad Black Woman.  Yea.  After Snoop swiped a credit card down Mudear’s ass, I just turned the movie off.  I’m just saying! 

 

* Did you get a load of John McCain smirking everytime Barack Obama got off on his ass in the debates the other night?  He had this look as if to say, “Look Sambo, you talk well and all but I am the white man… what do you think is going to happen on November 4th?” I don’t want to start any rumors, but right after the debates I was looking at an episode of Beavis and Butthead.  And Butthead asked the question,… “Senator McCain, are you my daddy?  Seriously!

* So anyway, did I mention that it’s been quite a while since I had some?  Well when it’s been long enough for a guy everything you look at starts remindind you of sex.   I was watching Monday Night Football.  And at halftime ESPN has this segment called “The Fastest 3 Minutes in Sports.”  It’s where they cram all the highlights and scores from the previous Sunday’s NFL games.  I sat there and thought to myself, “Hmm… the fastest three minutes in sports.  Is that really supposed to be for highlights?  Or is it code for the amount of time a guy can get away from the TV and get a quickie before the third quarter starts?  I mean, thats about all a girl can ask for during halftime anyway right?

Oh… so what did I do with my three minutes?  Well that’s none of your business so I’m not gonna tell you that. 

Oh.. you want to know what happened Sunday?  No problem.  Carolina beat Atlanta, Cleveland beat Cincinnati, Jacksonville beat Houston, Kansas City upset Denver, The Saints beat the 49ers, Tampa beat Green Bay, (Aaron Rogers has a separated shoulder) Tennessee beat Minnesota, the Chargers beat the Raiders, (Kiffen is giong to be fired at any moment now) Buffalo beat the Rams (Linehan got fired) the Skins beat the Cowboys (T.O. is selfish) Chicago beat Philly, the Jets beat Arizona and Brett Favre had 6 touchdown passes.  I’m just saying….Seriously