I was going through fellow blogger Aunt Jemimah’s Revenge’s page and it made me think of  an older blog I wrote about late night television commercials.  There are some new players on the block now.  Let’s chat about it.

I remember back in the day when the old K-Tel and other companies would push any and everything imaginable to the viewers.   For the magical figure of $19.99 plus shipping and handling, you could get just about everything from a Chia Pet (chi chi chi Chia) to a classical record collection of top 40 hits.  My favorite line would be the one where they were selling the soul music hits and one guys says to another, “Man can I borrow your music?”  Then the other guys says, “Uh uhh my brother.  You have to get your OWN.” 

 

 Today’s acts are no less formidable.  You have ShamWow which can suck up the Mississippi River if you throw a couple rolls into it.  I love the way the guy says, “Its made in Germany so you know it’s good.”  And also the way he chastises the camera man by saying, “Cameraman you getting all of this?  Stay with me now!”  

 Isn’t it cool too how they give you the price of say, $59.99 but then drop it to $19.99?   Then they back it up with, “But wait!  If you call within the next 20 minutes, we’ll throw in another set of ShamWow’s for free!”

That’s standard language for any of these commercials and their offers.  ” But wait!”

Then there’s the Snuggie.  I almost fell off the couch the first time I saw this one.  Apparently someone thought to put sleeves on a blanket.  To see these people doing their casual acts of lounging around the house with this bright red or blue thing is hilarious.  No self respecting man in my opinion would be caught dead in one of these things unless he was a star or an extra in a George Lucas movie.

       

*Snuggie man, may the force be with you!

 You got to love Jay Kordich with his monster eyebrows selling that juicer.  Plus the old man is built like a bull and has all those  girls around.  I actually love juicers and it’s time for me to invest in another one. 

 

 Now my MAIN MAN is none other than Matthew Lesko.  This dude is relentless in selling his book on how to get the government to fund all of your research and ideas.  Anybody who can dress up like The Joker’s Revenge and go on and on and on  is alright with me.  

 

 The only thing I can compare some of these commercials to are some TV preachers when they ask for dollars.  That’s another story.

But I have my own idea to sell.  You see when I sleep, I like to keep my feet warm and I don’t like to sleep in socks.  Sometimes the bottom of the comforter has that cold air seeping at the bottom.  What I do as soon as I get under the covers is is lift the covers with my feet and fold the top sheet and comforter under my feet.  This creates that warm and soft feeling while keeping the cold air out.  I call it “The Cushion.”  I’m thinking to myself, “Why should I do all of that feet folding every night.  I may as well just sew an extra foot pocket at the bottom of the comforter so people can just slide their feet in at night.  I can market the thing for $49.99.  But wait!” 

Operators are standing by….