Category Archives: The Wisdoms

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Making It Happen & Being Counted!

I did it!  I cannot say how happy I am that the moment I have waited for has finally come.  I made it to the polls at 5:45am this morning – stood in an old school civil rights line more than a block long and finally casted my vote for Senator Barack Obama!  The crowe was thick, enthusiastic, patient and most of all ready for the change we need!

I feel as if a heavy weight is off my shoulders as I did my due dilligence. 

Whatever it takes familia, make it happen!

Pics L-R  1. The crowd outside the polling place  2. The crowd inside the polling place 3. Rocking the paper ballots. (There were electronic ones too – I just didn’t trust them.  4. A happy me after taking part in history!

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Joel Osteen’s Alright With Me…

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I am not much on preachers on TV.  I am not much for preachers at all.  Not that I don’t appreciate the men and women who really seek to make positive change and be a conscious for spiritual/universal truth.  I know of a few who are in this for the right reasons.  Far too many seem to be full of themselves, their “ministries” their dogma or their legacies.  I think many ministers (Christian in particular) start out as humble servants.  But when they achieve a certain amount of notoriety they change.  In short, many begin to overestimate their own importance in the grand scheme of things and leave the flock behind their cloud of ego driven dust.  Some are just pimps from the word go.  They enjoy not having a real job.  For them ministry is business first and foremost – and if people fall by the wayside, oh well.  Though I have seen this with my own eyes several times within my life, a few honest ministers have confessed as much to me during interviews.

When I look at Joel Osteen, I see something different, something refreshing.  Back in the day when his father John Osteen pastored Lakewood Church, my dad was a member there when he moved to Houston.  It was there that his own interest in ministry began to thrive.  When John passed away, Joel took over the pulpit and began to do his own thing.  When I surfed the channels and stopped on one of Joel’s messages, I smirked and said to myself, “He’s not a preacher, he’s a motivational speaker.”  Every message to seemed to be about how, “everything was going to be alright and God loves you just the way you are.”  Well, since I grew up in just about every church sect in the US, I wanted something stronger, more meaty.  I had heard everything and I wanted something to challenge me.  He was not doing it.  So I chalked him up to be another PK (Preacher’s Kid) who took over his father’s ministry but has no real depth himself.

Well after taking another look at Joel from the time I saw him on 60 Minutes, I have done a 180 on him.  I recently took the time to pay closer attention to his messages.  And what I see that I didn’t recognize initially is that Joel ministers something that is very needed in today’s world.  He offers hope, faith, and an outlook that allows one to view challenges with a glass “half full” mentality.  Also Joel is one who totally promotes personal responsibility.  He makes us fully aware that we are responsible for our own happiness as well as the task of making good decisions to put ourselves in position for success.  All the while his encouraging style allows us to forgive ourselves and turn the page on past mistakes, and turn towards the right path.

I got mad love and respect for Joel Osteen.  I know that he believes everything he says which is one of the greatest compliments I could ever give any person.  He reminds me that no matter how complicated the problem, the ways of working through the solutions are layered with simplistic truths and principles.  A small change in perspective can make the difference.  That is as much meat as a person needs during times like these.

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Money, Greed, & The Desecration of the King Legacy

 

Where do I start?  Sigh!

Since the death of Coretta Scott King, the widow of the late Dr. Martin Luther King, many in the African-American community have stood by silently while King’s children have fought in public and in court over various money issues.  Most of us just shook our heads and hoped that they could get their stuff together.  I’m not saying it’s easy being a King’s kid all the time, but come on! 

Chief of the drama however seems to be Dexter King, the second son of the couple who for everything I have noticed, seems to love the high life as a Malibu “big baller” who spends all of the money from his father’s estate to finance his lavish lifestyle.  Initially, sister Bernice King and brother Martin III sued Dexter on behalf of Coretta’s estate alleging he improperly took funds from the estates of their parents.  I won’t spend time elaborating on that or placing blame.  But it’s obvious that there are some problems with the First Family of black folk. 

Now it seems that Coretta had some love letters “(and other “intimate correspondence”) from Martin that she kept in a suitcase under her bed till the day she died.   According to Lynn Cothren, Mrs. Kings special assistant for over two decades they were her most cherished possessions.  Bernice would like to keep those letters private in the hands of family.  Dexter, ever the opportunist would like to whore them out for a book deal he inked recently.

Dude, you are actually going to take your sister to court to get at your dead parent’s love letters so you can market them in a book? 

To quote a famous poet, “Dumb nigga, what you thinkin bout?”  

Here you have the descendants of the most well known African-American family in the history of the world.  The children of a Nobel Peace Prize winner.  A man who has arguably done more to help the entire race socially, legally, educationally, and financially, certainly in the 20th Century.   A man who helped to set the table for this historic moment and opportunity to elect a true child of the dream.   

 

I know there are two sides to every story, and perhaps if I knew the whole story (which I am not interested in) I would have cause to go after Bernice and Martin III.  But in this case, it’s all on Dexter.  What will this guy NOT do to bleed his given name for every dollar possible?  I am reminded of a line in the movie, “Crash,” where Terrance Howard’s character chided Ludacris’ car jacking character by telling him, “Look at me!  You embarrass me.  You embarrass yourself!”

Since these bickerings started, most African Americans with public forums have cautiously taken a pass at getting into their business.  There is so much respect for the King name and legacy.  We have inwardly wished that the family would put the public bickering to rest and not bring shame to themselves or our people.  I think the silence should cease.  And we should call for Dexter to call off this ridiculous pursuit of his parents intimate communications.  Here is my official notice:

Memo to Dex: Your father is arguably the greatest American the country has ever produced!  Have some dignity!  If there was something J. Edgar Hoover didn’t get his grubby and filthy hands on, then leave it be!  I am sure if Mrs. King wanted to post her husband’s personal sentiments to her she would have done so during the almost 40 years she survived him.  You have enough at your disposal already to allow you to gravy train your father’s legacy for the rest of your pitiful life.  If your mother and father were alive, they would both be ashamed of you.  Now back the hell up!

See… it’s that simple!

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The Man Bible 8: Enjoy Your Friends’ Criticism

A man’s capacity to receive another man’s direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy.  If he doesn’t have a good relationship to masculine energy (e.g., his father), then he will act like a woman and be hurt or defensive rather than make use of other men’s criticism.  – David Deida

Ok… I can’t say I can subscribe to the last portion of that sentence.  The ability to take or not take criticism is not necessarily a feminine or masculine quality.  I know women who can both dish it out and take a well thought out critique of something she does or believes.  However, I do respect the premise of the principle – that iron sharpens iron and a man needs other men who can give him an honest and frank take on his life. 

Every man needs an inner circle… a board of directors whom he respects that can give him the straight skinny – no compromise on important ideas and decisions he may make.  This can prevent a great mistake in his life.  This reminds me of a scripture that says:

Where no wise guidance is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.  Proverbs 11:14

Of course one has to make sure the person he is getting counsel from has some sense is not a moron devoid of wisdom!  And this does not necessarily mean that a friend’s advice is always accurate or on point for every major decision a man makes.  A man has to be responsible for making his own decisions and living with the results.  The point is that a wise man will seek counsel to get a perspective that he may not see through his own blind spots.  This is essential to making the best decision possible. 

Now, the best way to deal with criticism, is to first listen to it completely.  Then take some time to identify if it’s true completely or in part.  If it is then it’s best to man up and admit it – the sooner the better.  Denial is not just a river in Africa, it also slows a good man down to live in his own fantasy world while reality is kicking him in the ass.  If the criticism is not valid and your way passes the smell test – then you can feel good about your direction with even more confidence.  Of course if your respected and wise friends agree with you – you can probably rest assured you are on point. 

Either way – Pride comes before a fall.   The humble will ask for help so that a light can be beamed on the whole situation, illuminating the path that leads to life. 

Peace

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10 Things I Hate to See ~ Especially In Black Folks

Mothers who cuss at their babies…. in public especially

Fathers who are absent from their children’s lives

Fathers who are present but may as well not be

Young people who are disrespectful to adults and older people. 

Adults and older people who don’t understand or respect the value and potential of the younger generation.  We have to learn to bridge the gap between the generations.  We can only do that together.  Each group has it’s reasons to exist.  One cannot function at it’s best without the other.

Saggin pants is one thing – I don’t have to like it.  But when the jenk is right above the knees and they literally walk with one hand holding the front of the pants up from completely falling to the ground….  What is up with that??

Tatoos on the hands, neck, face etc. when you’re young and don’t have any money and are looking for a job.

Folks who throw trash out the car window… That is some truly trifling shit. 

Folks who know their candidate of choice is whack, but refuse to speak the truth about it.

Folks who don’t vote because, “It doesn’t matter,” or “they are going to do what they do anyway.”  No the issue is that far too many of us (Americans) are apathetic and take far too much for granted, not understanding that the most astute constituents keep political leads in check.  When the public is uneducated or aloof, meandering about their miserable lives, then the few are able to control the fate of the many via the purse strings of lobbyist.  In other words, if there are 100 people voting in an election, and 80 of them are poor/middle class but astute, their votes will outweigh the value of any amount of money the remaining 20% could pay.  So do the math , get involved, educated. and participate.   

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The Alchemist

A Fable About Following Your Dream

This is a book on my list of reads.  I heard that Will Smith read it and it gave him a perspective that has been key to his success in life.  I have mad respect for Will, (Hancock notwithstanding) Me and my boy Rich were talking about the book and he is featuring it on his blog on Tuesdays.   His Tuesday post are called, “Back On Track Tuesdays, where they will hold discussions.   I will actively join in after I get the book but I will stay tuned in the meantime!

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Pleading No Contest~Or Just Not At All

…but he answered him not a word.

 

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned is when not to defend myself.  Normally this is something I find hard not to do.  By nature I am a communicator, a negotiator and a peacemaker.  As liberal as I am towards respecting other people’s opinions, I also have my own views on a wide variety of subject matters.  These attributes equate to my natural desire to be understood.  My preference is that even if someone disagrees with me or is angry with me for something – I would much rather that person have an accurate assessment on what I mean to say or meant to do relative to his/her beef is with me rather than it be for some reason that isn’t true.  But sometimes less is more and there are times that an attempt to bring understanding to a situation would do nothing to remedy the problem.  Sometimes defending one’s self only makes things worse.  Especially if the people I may try to convince may not be in a good place to hear my point of view, or they flat out may not care.

 

Jesus is a wonderful example of a man knowing when not to defend himself.  As he faced his accusers before being sentenced to death by crucifixion, he was asked to defend himself.  This is how the exchange went in Matthew 27:11-14:

 

Now Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked Him saying, “Are you King of the Jews?  Jesus said to him, “It is as you say.”  And while He was being accused by the chief priest and elders, He answered nothing.  The Pilate said to Him, “Do You not hear how many things they testify against You?”  But He answered him not one word, so that the governor marveled greatly.

 

When one really examines the life of Jesus through his exchanges with different people, we find that people are always asking Him questions.  And I have found that depending on the person asking and what his/her motivation was for asking a question determined the way Jesus would respond.  When one of his disciples asked Him to teach them to pray, He gave them what we know now as the Lord’s Prayer. (Luke 11)  If a guy asked to be healed he accommodated that.  (Mark 2:41-42)  Even when John’s disciples asked Jesus why His disciples didn’t fast, Jesus gave them a decent answer. (Matthew 9:14-17)

 

The issue in the scripture reference before Jesus was crucified was that the governor wasn’t 100% sincere when he asked Jesus if He was the King of the Jews.  And the chief priest damn sure didn’t give a hoot as to what Jesus would say to his accusations.  His and his friend’s agenda would have been the same regardless… “Crucify Him!”  Therefore Jesus did not waste the little time and breath he had left in answering the questions or defending himself in the presence of fools.  He illustrated this in Matthew 13:10-11 when he told his disciples that the reason He spoke in parables was because there were certain valuable words that were not for the masses to gain insight into.

 

And so it goes neither should we care to defend ourselves in the presence of people who are not on a hunt for truth nor have our best interest at heart.  Whenever Jesus would get a suspect or tricky question from an individual, he would either give them a smart assed question and answer back, (Matthew 20:23-27 -Luke 20:20-23) point out their true intentions, (Matthew 9 1-6) or simply be silent.  However, if a person was sincere in wanting to know the truth he was more than happy to relay that truth until understanding was achieved.  Proverbs 26:4 says it best, “Answer not a fool in his folly, lest you be like him.”  Sometimes even if you are totally misunderstood, misquoted, or accused of wrong doing.  There is a time to defend what the truth is.  But if the person you are talking to does not want the truth of have your best interest at heart, inside you may want to scream out for justice.  But it takes great inner strength to hold your peace and allow God to fight your battles.