First to the “L” Word May Determine Direction of the Relationship?

I came across this article from and it basically says that women should NOT be the first to say, “I love you” in a relationship. 

The ironic part to me is that a feminist wrote the article who also believes it’s perfectly fine for a woman to ask a man out, make the first move, and even propose.  She believes these three words however opens a bit of a “Pandora’s Box”. 

… I love you” uttered too soon, before the man has processed his feelings and reached the same level of adoration could end a relationship that just as easily could have had an eternal shelf life. As soon as those words are said, they change the dynamic. If a man isn’t feeling the love quite yet, he may suddenly feel pressure to manifest that emotion. And if the woman doesn’t get the response she expected, it could damage her confidence enough to derail the whole relationship entirely.

I have my own views on this subject, and I have heard others as well that agree with some of the beliefs from the author.  However, never with the caveat that a woman can basically do everything but utter the ‘L’ word first. 

I would gather to guess that my female feminist friends would not agree with any limitations set on them within a relationship.  Equally though I feel most of them have more traditional standards than they readily admit to.

So where do you the reader come out on this?  Is it fair game for women to do whatever in pursuing a man?  Or should she take a more conservative approach and allow the man to pursue and ‘conquer’ or win her heart?

3 thoughts on “First to the “L” Word May Determine Direction of the Relationship?

  1. Abbey says:

    I dont think I have ever been the one to say “I love you” first. Im sure its the fear of rejections that keeps me from admitting how I feel, especialy if its early in the relationship. I have noticed that a lot of men tend to say it early on, but not really feel it. I think lots of men think that women want to hear those words. The phrase its self is enough to freak me out, I have had men tell me they love me within weeks and even days of meeting me. What that usually does is convinces me I need to let it go and leave. Who should say the words first is tricky, I guess whomever feels the love first and has the courage to say it, should.

    I do think it is perfectly fine for a woman to say it first and I think women should feel free to persue a man as strongly as a man would persue a woman. I dont really think women should propose marriage though not sure why i feel that way, i guess if i ever really thought about getting married it would be easier to say, but I havnt.

    I know lots of guys who are just as scared of rejection and refuse to make the first move so ya women need to take control sometimes 🙂

  2. thickgirl45 says:

    I agree with Abbey. I have never said I love you to a guy first. I dont think I would ever say it either. I feel if your going to go after a man go for it, do what ever it is you got to do to get him. At the same time women, make sure he’s not some one else’s. I am married now. but when we were dating and he said it to me it took be by surprised, I was kinda shocked he even said it. Not that I didnt wont to hear it, just didnt expect it so soon.

    My brother tells girls all the time that. I believe they say it (like Abbey said) because thats what they believe thats what we wont to hear. But some women fail to relize just because you say it dont mean you mean it.

    But for real telling a man you love them is ok. At the same time you could be opening up a can of worms so be careful.

  3. Abbey says:

    Hecky ya “thick” make sure up front he is in the clear. Nothing like fallin hard for someone and laying your self out for them puttin your heart into it and then finding out he already belongs to someone else. Not a good place to find yourself………..ever. Gotta run a background check and see whats goin on with everyone these days lol.

    but when its all free and clear people just need to go with thier hearts

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s