Valentines Day… Romance or Rip Off

What do ya’ll think?  Here is one man’s opinion, Roland Martin from CNN.

Commentary: Don’t be my Valentine

Roland S. Martin says he doesn't buy all the hype associated with Valentine's Day.

By Roland Martin
CNN Contributor

Editor’s note: A nationally syndicated columnist, Roland S. Martin is the author of “Listening to the Spirit Within: 50 Perspectives on Faith” and “Speak, Brother! A Black Man’s View of America.” Visit his Web site for more information.

(CNN) — With retailers hurting and the U.S. president trying to encourage Americans to spend money to restore consumer confidence, what I’m about to say may seem like treason. But here goes: Please boycott Valentine’s Day and all that is associated with this horrendous “holiday.”

For several years I have ripped into Valentine’s Day. Not because I’m against love and relationships, but mainly because the holiday is such a farce.

First of all, Valentine’s Day is not built around a religious event like Christmas or Easter; nor does it have any special meaning to the nation such as Memorial Day or Veterans Day.

It is nothing more than a commercial holiday created by rabid retailers who needed a major shopping day between Christmas and Easter in order to give people a reason to spend money.

Now folks, I love my wife. She is truly an awesome woman who is smart, talented, fine, and, did I say fine? But do I really need a special day to show my affection for her?

I’ve long maintained that if I sent my flowers at other times during the year, why do I have to fall victim to peer pressure and send her some roses that have quadrupled in price leading up to February 14?

Why should I be inundated with mailings, e-mails and commercials to show her that I love her by buying jewelry or clothing? If we went shopping in June or September or last month, can I get some kind of waiver or “Get out of Valentine’s Day” card?

As for this silly flower thing, it’s even got to the point that any flowers can’t do. Some years ago I planned on sending a woman some flowers that weren’t roses, and the (female) co-workers were aghast. They felt that nothing mattered except roses.

First of all, I didn’t have a lot of dough and felt a nice bouquet was sufficient, but they were appalled. So I told them to go to hell and I’ll do what I want. I guess for them, the thought really doesn’t matter.

Then there are the women on the job who measure the love of their men based on those flowers. You know how some folks are. If there are flowers on the desk of 10 other women, and one woman doesn’t have anything, folks get to talking and whispering as if something is wrong in her relationship.

I’ve learned that even if you get the biggest-ever rose bouquet — the relationship might be crumbling and you just refuse to admit it.

And Valentine’s Day really isn’t even a two-way street. Men are utterly irrelevant except to serve as pawns in this commercial game, emptying their wallets in order to satisfy their lovers or those around them. Oh yea, retailers know the con game.

Most of these guys are hapless saps who have ignored their wives or girlfriends all year, so they buy the flowers and candy, and set a reservation at one of the city’s most expensive restaurants, all to say, “Honey, I love you.”

Ladies, and men, stop it! It’s time to say enough is enough with Valentine’s Day.

What do I want? How about men and women loving, caring and sharing the other 364 days a year? February 14 isn’t the only time to send flowers to your woman (ladies, we wouldn’t mind getting a surprise delivery as well!). How about dropping her a flower arrangement on May 14? And on that card you need to write, “Just because…”

Instead of men and women spicing up their sex life on February 14, make the effort to satisfy your mate the rest of the year.

If last Valentine’s Day was the last time you took your significant other out to a really nice restaurant, you deserve to be in trouble.

Are you planning to treat your man or woman to a wonderful day at the spa this Saturday? Well, I’m sure he or she would thoroughly enjoy the same in June or July.

It’s time that we all take stock of our relationships and learn that we are to be loving and fulfilled 365 days a year, and not reduce our affection to flowers, candy, jewelry, clothes and a meal on one day a year.

The people who plan their lives around Valentine’s are like those who spend more time planning their wedding day rather than planning their marriage. The day is nice and wonderful, but what makes it last is what you do on the “non-special” days.

5 thoughts on “Valentines Day… Romance or Rip Off

  1. Abbey says:

    I fully agree. Ya the girly showy part of me loves the thought of having flowers delivered to me on Valentines Day but ya thats cuz how others look at it, but would I appreciate it less any other day hecky naw. Flowers deliverd any day of the year is a beautifuly embarassing thing :).
    Like I told a very dear person to me, I would rather have few presents that were given because the person really wanted to give them to me than a whole lot of presents that they thought they HAD to give me.
    What is really nice on Valentines Day tho, are the presents from the secret admirors lol not that I have gotten to experiance that but I have seen it and its got to feel awesome and a lil scarey.

  2. Jim Thornber says:

    I agree, but I’m smart enough NOT to show the article to my wife!

  3. C Haze says:

    Hey- I sent a text message to every man I know, asking if they would like my work address so that they will know where to send my flowers on V-day.

    I don’t know.

    I get what Roland is saying, but I think some of his logic is faulty.

    I agree that we should be showing those we love that we love them year round, not just waiting for this one day- simply droppin a load of cash and moving on.

    However, he references the fact that V-day has no religious history associated with it- that it is merely a man-made holiday to generate revenue.

    This is true, but I would argue that Christmas isn’t that much different these days, nor is Easter… and what about Mothers Day and Fathers Day? Those two days are man-made Hallmark holidays just as V-Day is.

    These days, with the state of the world, I don’t mind the idea of a day that’s been set aside to celebrate love.

    Sure, we should be doing that every day… but the reality is, we don’t always… a reminder like V-Day, once a year, to turn to your beloved and tell them how much they mean to you is not a bad thing.

  4. Abbey says:

    DANG I shoulda thought about textin all my male friends to let them know where to send flowers C HAZE is up on that one lol
    The only way Im getting flowers for my desk tomorrow is If i send them or bring them myself, aint no one thinkin bout me like that 😦

  5. bbgcmac says:

    Chaze – I hear ya – interesting take.

    Abbey – you still got time. Get to texting!

    Jim, you gotta do what you gotta do baby! Get in where ya fit in and make momma happy! That’s just wisdom!

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