Category Archives: Truth Seeking

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The Man Bible 8: Enjoy Your Friends’ Criticism

A man’s capacity to receive another man’s direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy.  If he doesn’t have a good relationship to masculine energy (e.g., his father), then he will act like a woman and be hurt or defensive rather than make use of other men’s criticism.  – David Deida

Ok… I can’t say I can subscribe to the last portion of that sentence.  The ability to take or not take criticism is not necessarily a feminine or masculine quality.  I know women who can both dish it out and take a well thought out critique of something she does or believes.  However, I do respect the premise of the principle – that iron sharpens iron and a man needs other men who can give him an honest and frank take on his life. 

Every man needs an inner circle… a board of directors whom he respects that can give him the straight skinny – no compromise on important ideas and decisions he may make.  This can prevent a great mistake in his life.  This reminds me of a scripture that says:

Where no wise guidance is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.  Proverbs 11:14

Of course one has to make sure the person he is getting counsel from has some sense is not a moron devoid of wisdom!  And this does not necessarily mean that a friend’s advice is always accurate or on point for every major decision a man makes.  A man has to be responsible for making his own decisions and living with the results.  The point is that a wise man will seek counsel to get a perspective that he may not see through his own blind spots.  This is essential to making the best decision possible. 

Now, the best way to deal with criticism, is to first listen to it completely.  Then take some time to identify if it’s true completely or in part.  If it is then it’s best to man up and admit it – the sooner the better.  Denial is not just a river in Africa, it also slows a good man down to live in his own fantasy world while reality is kicking him in the ass.  If the criticism is not valid and your way passes the smell test – then you can feel good about your direction with even more confidence.  Of course if your respected and wise friends agree with you – you can probably rest assured you are on point. 

Either way – Pride comes before a fall.   The humble will ask for help so that a light can be beamed on the whole situation, illuminating the path that leads to life. 

Peace

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The Great Debators or Great Deflators…..

   

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So here we are again with another debate in store between Obama and McCain McSame.    Lately McSame and Palin Shamelin have been trying to use the scare tactics in their campaign speeches against Obama.  She has gone with the, “This is not a man who sees American like you see America, and as I see America..” (wink wink – card) meaning that he sees the world through a “black” lense.  And he has gone to the, “Who is the real Senator Obama... translation, “You don’t really know the Negro and he’s too unpredictable card.”

According to the latest polls, Obama is increasing his lead.  And the word on the street is that McSame is going to “take off the gloves” in tonight’s debate.  Usually that means attacking Obama and not talking about the issues such as the economy, education, etc.  We all know he has nothing substantive to say on those issues. 

Just like last week’s VP debate, Shamelin had nothing more than predetermined sound bites, a few winks, oh shucks and some shout outs to offer.  Hmm, I wonder what America’s reaction would be if that were Michelle Obama talking all “folksy” that way?   Would her uneducated tone come off so endearing?  But I digress. 

On one hand it shows that many in America are relatively savvy in that they enjoy watching Tina Fey do Palin more than they enjoy Palin herself – meaning they don’t take Palin very seriously.  On the other hand while we laugh at her ridiculous presentation, in less than a month this lunatic could be a  heartbeat away from the nuclear codes.  Laugh as we may we need to take this election seriously and not sleep on the consequences.

So let’s just see what happens.  McCain says he’s going to be “bout it bout it” and Obama has been pretty much a gentleman most of the time.  I did hear him say on the Tom Joyner Morning Show yesterday morning that he may not throw the first punch, but he will throw the last one.  (That is when it comes to using hard core political attacks – see Roland Martin link) The Maverick as he calls himself is feeling a bit desperate.  And it will be interesting to see if he poses that same smirk he rocked in their last debate. 

I just want him to keep it real.  Don’t shake Obama’s hand.  Don’t whisper niceties in his ear – just be thug about it.  I just hope it doesn’t turn out to be a big hype and then the commentators are left to say the debate was “civil.”  Bring the heat McCain.. let’s see what your workin with.

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10 Things I Hate to See ~ Especially In Black Folks

Mothers who cuss at their babies…. in public especially

Fathers who are absent from their children’s lives

Fathers who are present but may as well not be

Young people who are disrespectful to adults and older people. 

Adults and older people who don’t understand or respect the value and potential of the younger generation.  We have to learn to bridge the gap between the generations.  We can only do that together.  Each group has it’s reasons to exist.  One cannot function at it’s best without the other.

Saggin pants is one thing – I don’t have to like it.  But when the jenk is right above the knees and they literally walk with one hand holding the front of the pants up from completely falling to the ground….  What is up with that??

Tatoos on the hands, neck, face etc. when you’re young and don’t have any money and are looking for a job.

Folks who throw trash out the car window… That is some truly trifling shit. 

Folks who know their candidate of choice is whack, but refuse to speak the truth about it.

Folks who don’t vote because, “It doesn’t matter,” or “they are going to do what they do anyway.”  No the issue is that far too many of us (Americans) are apathetic and take far too much for granted, not understanding that the most astute constituents keep political leads in check.  When the public is uneducated or aloof, meandering about their miserable lives, then the few are able to control the fate of the many via the purse strings of lobbyist.  In other words, if there are 100 people voting in an election, and 80 of them are poor/middle class but astute, their votes will outweigh the value of any amount of money the remaining 20% could pay.  So do the math , get involved, educated. and participate.   

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Temptation

The subject of temptation is a fascinating one to me.  As people we are always tempted with something.  Normally when the word temptation is used it has to do with a form of the forbidden.  For instance if I commit to fasting for a certain amount of time, during that period I will at some point be tempted to eat.  I may be on day 3 of a 10 day fast for instance, and all of a sudden it’s free pizza day at work.  I can smell it, my stomach is grumbling and my body is craving the cheese and sauce.  Now what?

First let’s first define temptation.  I didn’t search the dictionary, but for the sake of this post, we will define temptation as: a desire to do or partake in something that is at least temporarily forbidden.  (I.e. food when fasting)  It is the compromise of the highest form of original intention, infecting personal character and integrity.  The core of these temptations stem from three areas: The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.  No temptation will exist without at least one of these at play.  Examples:

Lust of the flesh – You know you got a lady or a man – yet you feel tempted to flirt or allow yourself to be flirted with by that attractive person you see at the mall. 

Lust of the eyes – While at the same mall you see that outfit that you think is hot.  But you know you don’t need that outfit.  Furthermore, if you spend that money, you will put yourself behind the 8 ball and it will cost you more than the price of the outfit later.

Pride of Life – Driving from the mall a car cuts you off as you turn to approach the exit.  You know the best thing to do is turn the page and be thankful there was no accident.  Walk away.  But something inside says you should give that fool a piece of your mind. 

These are just some general examples.  We are constantly bombarded with temptations through life’s experiences as we just covered.  We are also tempted through media and advertisement.  Even the way your local grocery store shelves its products is a way to tempt you to spend more money on the most expensive products.

I am learning that what we do with temptation is what makes or breaks us in daily life.  Do we face temptation head on or do we slide backwards into its cunning and deceptive ways?  Recognizing temptation is the first key.  So often we are bombarded with images and situations, I’m not sure we realize how much we face on the day to day. 

The best way to deal with temptation is to confront it head on.  By that I mean we shouldn’t play ourselves into acting like we aren’t tempted when we really are.  If you are tempted to do something, just admit it.  Its not a sign of weakness but of strength to face the facts of self evaluation.  How many times have we put ourselves in bad situations because we were in denial about what was going on inside our hearts?  Only to find later we are filled with regrets of personal failings.  Once we face the reality of what is tempting us, next decide what to do about it.  If we take immediate action, we are far more likely to overcome that temptation.  If we allow the imagination to fester and permeate our psyche, we are more likely to fall into said temptation.  Excuse me for putting it this way, but temptation is a subtle mother-fucker!  And you can’t be pussying around with it either!  It has to be handled and dealt with head on or it will get you caught up with the quickness. 

For each person it’s important to know what it is you really want out of life.  What is the level of happiness you want to achieve?  What kind of house do you want to live in?  How healthy would you like to be and what kind of body do you want to have?  What kind of relationships do you want with your significant other, family and friends?  What kind of impact would you like to make in this life?  What do you need to do to make that impact?  What tenancies and weaknesses do you have that would prevent you from living your best life.  How far are you willing to go to maximize your potential and live your best life?  Answer these questions and you are on your way to living life in a real way. 

There is no shame in being tempted.  Jesus himself was tempted.  It will be an ongoing happening for the rest of our lives.  The man/woman of the highest level of integrity will recognize self tendencies and take appropriate action in order to ensure that life is lived with the greatest amount of freedom without the constant weight of consequences from bad decisions.  If our eyes are wide open to who we are and what is before us, we can use temptation and our success/failings as a barometer to measure personal growth.  The thing about temptation is this – being tempted never made anyone do anything they didn’t want to do.  No matter what temptations we face in life, we always retain the final rights of choice.  To not recognize temptation sets us up to merely fall over and over again into cycles of failure.  Understanding and self- knowing will help us make the right choices that we are willing to live with. 

Whatever you do with temptation is up to you.  Just keep your eyes open and take responsibility for what happens.

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First Blood: Chinese visa rejection should open floodgates for dissent

 

US Olympic speedskater Joey Cheek

When asked the other day if USA Basketball players should speak out on human rights issues in China, Kobe Bryant said in effect that he and other players are not politicians but are there to “play the game.”  Normally I would say that’s a big cop-out!  After all, we know the power of the dollar these days and how much marketing makes a difference as players follow the “Jordan Rules” for remaining race and issue neutral on all things that do not pertain to promoting themselves or their brand.  I could site LeBron James’ reluctance to speak out about Nike sweat shops as an example. 

For sure the days of the concious athlete, i.e. Jim Brown, Muhammad Ali, Arthur Ashe, John Carlos and Tommy Smith, hell Billy Jean King are gone for the most part.  The rare exceptions for example are basketball players like Adonal Foyle, Dikembe Mutombo, and Etan Thomas.  Craig Hodges the former sharpshooter for the Bulls during the early Jordan years gave a letter to the president at the Rose Garden during their championship visit.  The letter talked about poverty and brought up issues that Hodges and others were concerned about that rarely ever get presidential attention.  He was blackballed by the league after that.  These people are conscious of not just their personal benefit and consumption from the sport, but of community and world affairs.  I don’t expect Kobe Bryant to know or care much about Tienanmen Square in 1989.  I don’t know that he is familiar with the issues regarding greater Los Angeles.  I would rather those speak who do know the issues so that the” stars” don’t make fools of themselves or degrade the cause.

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And so it goes with these Olympic games in Beijing.  I didn’t expect athletes with monolithic perspectives to chime in on weighty issues such as the Chinese human rights policy or the geopolitical stand of The Dali Lama.  Too bad the Olympics are in China in the first place, but perhaps we could just play nice and get through the games.  NOT!  Not now that the Chinese government has revoked the visa of Olympic Gold Medalist skater Joey Cheek.  Cheek is the founder of Team Darfur, a group of 70 athletes whose goal is to raise awareness of the human rights violations taking place in the Darfur region of The Sudan as told by Yahoo Sports.  China has many military, economic and diplomatic ties to The Sudan.

Again, initially I understood the modern athlete’s reluctance to get into political discussions during the games.  After all, it takes all one has just to prepare to qualify to compete with the best in the world on the world’s biggest stage.  The Olympics only happen once every four years.  Many American athletes have toed the line and not made any political statements regarding Chinese human rights issues and have focused their energies to promoting the games and making them attractive to fans, who may not otherwise know them.  However, China has thrown down the gauntlet two days before the opening ceremonies themselves.  American athletes should respond likewise by voicing their disdain for the way the Chinese have decided to treat Cheek.  They should use every opportunity especially during the medal presentations to make it their business to rally around a fellow American.  Talk about patriotism!  This is not a time to be politically correct but to make a morally definitive statement in supporting another American’s attempt to make the world better.  With the treatment of a great American like Cheek, it is unacceptable for any athlete to say with a straight face that it’s “just about the games.”  Damn the endorsements – speak truth to power!

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The Alchemist

A Fable About Following Your Dream

This is a book on my list of reads.  I heard that Will Smith read it and it gave him a perspective that has been key to his success in life.  I have mad respect for Will, (Hancock notwithstanding) Me and my boy Rich were talking about the book and he is featuring it on his blog on Tuesdays.   His Tuesday post are called, “Back On Track Tuesdays, where they will hold discussions.   I will actively join in after I get the book but I will stay tuned in the meantime!

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Fact Is – Truth Is (Part 1)

Growing up in the Christian faith community “confession” was a prevalent teaching among the congregations I associated with.  The faith movement was based highly on words – ala God created the Heavens and Earth with words… Jesus is called The Living Word – There are scriptures that say life and death are in the power of the tongue – and that those of the faith should call things that be not as though they were and so forth.   Today many Christians are very careful about what they say.   They do not want to claim negativity.  I recall seeing people appear to have a cold, and as he/she coughs and sneeze say in the next breath – “I’m not going to claim sickness.  I am perfectly fine.” 

I can understand the thinking – I do believe the mind is one of the most powerful forces in the universe and the words we say on an ongoing basis make a difference in our state of being.  However, sometimes I think we take it too far.  In other words there is a difference between faith and denial.  One does not have to deny facts to in order to seek out and confess a higher truth.  For there is a difference in facts and truth.  I would define it this way.  Dictionary.com says of a fact in short;

Fact – Knowledge or information based on real occurrences

But truth is as I define it for the purposes of this post…

Truth – the highest form of reality – an ultimate universal treaty

Truth would not deny a fact but would supersede it.  So for a person was sick or depressed and yet understand that their ultimate state should not be sickness or depression – it would not be best to deny what is evident.  But yet what is evident is not necessarily the last word.  Facts are outside manifestations, but truth is ultimate destination.   So one could admit to the fact that he/she is afflicted with sickness, and yet not deny the ultimate purpose and destination of wellness.  Facts are temporary and yet if to US those facts become truth – then they become one in the same. 

Ultimately people live by and make decisions based on the truth as they know it – not the facts.  For example, I recall driving my car and running out of gas with money in my pocket before.  Well I knew by intellect or ‘fact’ that the car could indeed run out of gas – and yet the ‘truth’ is I didn’t really believe it or else I would have stopped and added gas to the car before it happened.  As the hand slipped to the left of the ‘E’ I thought I had more and more time.  Well once that happened to me once – it has never happened again.  The potential for walking because a reality to me – especially cause it was like 15 degrees below zero that night. 

Simple as it may seem we all live by the truth that we know in our hearts – not the facts that we learn.  Or else we all by way of knowledge would live and do everything we know to do.  We wouldn’t abuse our bodies with alcohol and drugs.  We wouldn’t eat the wrong things if we really “knew” that those things were killing us.  Obviously knowledge is not what we lack.  Our personal realization of “truth” is what guides us in the long run. 

I submit that our task is to recognize and acknowledge the obvious.  We have needs, we are faulty, we have potential to be great and regardless there will be the best and worst of times.  At the same time we should strive to learn that which is true – that which surpasses facts for it is by those principles that we are led most. 

Part 2 Next…. “Absolute Truth” – fact or fiction