Facing Faults and Fears Part 1

Is there a doctor in the house?

Ok,

So here is the deal.  I am doing some self examining and decided to bring some of my blogging buddies along for the ride.  People like to talk about their virtues but not often their vices.  As humans, normally we tend to gravitate towards the things we like about ourselves.  Most of the times people say they want to maximize their strengths and learn to manage weaknesses.  What that means in many cases is that we try not to think about our weaknesses, ignore our weaknesses, hope the weakness, the fault or the fear goes away.

Well I want to try to confront some of mine.  And if anyone would like to make suggestions as to how to get past them or to improve my standing or outlook towards them, then this will be worth it.  Sometimes getting a fresh perspective can be a good thing.  One never knows…  

Some of my faults may seem humorous as I list them over the next several days.  I try not to take myself too seriously.  However, this is a serious thing for me so please be respectful even if you add a brand of humor.  You get to be the doctor.  Thanks. 

 

Part 1: Carelessness

I live my life by an electronic calendar.  (an Excel one to be exact)  Without it I am lost.  I schedule everything from when to pay bills, to game assignments, along with anything else I am not supposed to forget throughout the month.  I know better than to rely on my memory for anything.  I just have too many things on the plate to think that I will be able to retain it all.  It seems that the calendar really helps me a lot.  With it I feel organized and on top of my game.  But it’s one thing that my calendar cannot help me with.  Carelessness.

Let me tell you, I lose and forget where I put things like nobodies business.  Sometimes I think that I am clever and put things up somewhere in an unusual place because that way I figure that I will know where to find it.  But no.  It seems that at those times I forget the unusual place where I put the thing and thereby hide it from myself.  Sometimes I put things somewhere and don’t remember putting them there at all even after I’ve found them in that particular place.

Its gotten to the point now that sometimes when I do it, I just chalk it up in frustration because it seemed as if my mind just failed me.  Recently I visited my mother on the West Coast and she let me hold some photos of her on a cruise she took.  Because I didn’t want to bend them, I packed them between the screen and keyboard of my laptop.  Every time I would open my computer I would take the photos out and and afterwards put them back in.  My goal was to make copies and get them back to her. 

Well one morning I thought to myself, “Hmm, I was just at the coffee shop last week and I don’t remember putting the photos back in the computer.  Could I have left them at the coffee shop?”  I looked in the back seat of the car first and didnt’ see them among the other junk I had thrown back there.  Then I calmly drove to the coffee house that morning and asked the attendant if someone had turned in photos.  The woman said she worked every day since the Friday I had visited and that no one had turned anything in.  I asked if she was sure or if she could ask someone else.  She assured me that they had no photos, and that perhaps someone had thrown them away. 

Oh man!  How in the heck am I gonna tell my momma I lost her pictures?  She trusted me with these along with some videos and music I took back to St. Louis, and certainly the pictures could never be replaced.    I looked in the car again.  Nothing.  I went on my way disappointed again that I could not make a correlation in my brain for the last time I had seen the pictures.  I decided to wait to tell my mom.  No rush in disappointing her right?  She would forgive me, but I would still feel like an immature little kid who had to have his gloves pinned to the bottom of his coat sleeve so I can come back home with two of them instead of one.

I also lost my daughter’s report card.  I was the only parent who could make parent teacher day this time.  And I promised her mother that I would make her a copy and get it to her.  Ha!  Couldn’t find that either though it was in my carry around bag that has all of my important things in it.  Well no big deal, I can have the school print another one right?

A few days later, I’m looking to get some things out of my back seat.  I have a small satchel that carry my referee shoes, whistle and 5 Hour Energy shots.  I grabbed the bag and BAM… there they were – my mother’s cruise pictures.  Now I know darn well I looked that back seat over really well… or did I?  You see that’s my point!  Later on I eventually found the report card back there too.  The thing is, I can’t remember putting either of them in the back seat.  I do understand my logic however.  I put the pictures in the back seat because I didn’t want to take the chance on losing them in the coffee shop.  I just couldn’t remember doing it.  My bag turned upside down in the back seat after I threw it there so I can put the groceries I bought in the car.  I do remember that happening and that is when the report card must have fallen out.  So I got lucky.  Either that or God put those pictures back for me and saved me from humiliation.

What gets me the most is that I am ALWAYS cognisant of putting things in their proper places so that I don’t lose things.  And yet I still manage to do it.

Any suggestions?  This is a real sore area for me!

Advertisements