Monthly Archives: September 2008

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BBG C-Notes – Week Ending Sept 12-4

I know there has been a mostly serious tone in the house lately.  So let’s lighten it up a bit for the weekend while “still keepin it real.” 

First I have to give love to those in the gulf coast especially in Texas.  Thoughts and prayers to you as Ike approaches.  And now… the C-Notes.

** Memo to Orenthal – I know that up until this point you have practically been superman!  You’ve rolled like the man of steel.  You’ve been bulletproof!  But you may want to strike a deal with the prosecutor for that sting operation you pulled last year to get your gear in Vegas.  Do a lil jail time, feed the wolves and go about your way.  These white folks are NOT going to let you skate again.  The squeeze is on Juice.  Take a knee on this one.

** I am a huge Lance Armstrong fan!  Loved his book and found it quite incredible and inspirational.  Winning all those Tour De France titles was legendary – even amid all the doping speculation as well as the utter hate by the French.  You’ve won man – you proved your point!  No need to get back in the game now.  Don’t get me wrong, if anybody can do this it’s Livestrong!  But its clear that even cyclist who achieve greatness often stay a bit too long tarnishing their legacies.  This is an example of American arrogance.  Leave it be Lance!  Between your age and the fact that the whole nation will be holding fort at the airport with syringes when you get there… no way this goes good for you. 

*** Had a conversation the other day and was reminded how sweet this time of the elections would  be if Tim Russert were still with us.  He would not be letting this election distraction of Palin get by.  He would question her record and without missing a step keep John McCain’s feet to the fire.  Remember as horrible a selection as Palin is, the more people talk about her the less they talk about McCain.   He has been able to skate by on his lack of substance by putting her in the bright lights.  Many Americans are falling for this misdirection play.  Talk about lipstick on a pig….! 

***GAS GRASS (Coke) & ASS

So did you hear about the scandal involving several oil company representatives and the people they are working to have off shore drilling approved?  It seems that an investigation found that these oil executives where doing, (ahem) their own brand of off-shore drilling to the same people whose agencies offer offshore drilling leases and collects royalties.  Talk about partying like rock starts!!!  Apparently the cats at Chevron, Shell, and Hess among others really know how to “get down” with the MS Chicks!  Well at least you know why your gas prices are so…. uhhh “high”. 

*** I still can’t help but to be saddened by the fall of former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.  I was proud when he got elected.  I was rooting for him!  Got to see him during my one visit to Detroit and found him quite impressive.  This article from the Detoit Free Press does a good job of detailing a balanced perspective.  Kwame has flavor and charisma, and he rose at a very young age.  But the young brother got caught up and I don’t know that he can ever come back politically from this.  Stay close to your family brotha.  They will help you find peace and then pick up the pieces.

*** Big game in college football this weekend!   

logo.szuper.info.hu/pic/logo/o/ohio_state_athletics_78153.jpgVSwww.doubleqcountry.com/artman/uploads/usc_logo.jpg

Who ya wit?!!!

“I got Southern Cal – them Big Ten teams are too slow to hang with this killa squad!”

Have a blessed weekend family~

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BB&G Special Column Feature – Sylvester Brown

I pulled this column from the St. Louis Post Dispatch.  Sylvester Brown owned and operated a newspaper called “Take Five.”  It was the best source of local news this city has ever seen.  Unfortunately the paper went under.  Now Sylvester writes three times per week for the only mainstream newspaper in the city.  I have always enjoyed his pieces – and in this case he saved me the brain energy to express some of these thought.  The media is clearly NOT doing their job on the Palin thing.
This isn’t Venezuela, you can’t stifle the media
By Sylvester Brown Jr.
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has got some nerve.

He uses state-run media as his bully pulpit to attack privately owned media
outlets — television, radio and newspapers — that his administration defines as
“hostile and manipulative.”

Chavez interrupts regularly scheduled programming to broadcast whenever he
wants to rail. In recent speeches, Chavez called his opponents “ridiculous,”
said they need “psychological help” and labeled them “little Yankees,” or
flunkies of the United States. He’s been accused of using his privileges to get
re-elected.

Just who does Chavez think he is anyway, a Republican?

Oh, I can hear the wailing now: “You can’t compare true-blue Americans to a
foreign tyrant!”

Well, let’s review.

Days after John McCain announced his vice presidential pick, Alaska Gov. Sarah
Palin, his party pulled out the tried-and-true “biased liberal media” card.

When Palin was asked about her foreign policy experience, religious
affiliation, gubernatorial decisions or the pregnancy of her unmarried
17-year-old daughter, GOP loyalists accused the media of being elitist, sexist,
hostile and downright mean.

Hours before Palin’s highly anticipated convention speech, McCain’s senior
adviser, Steve Schmidt, released a pointed statement saying the campaign would
no longer answer questions about Palin’s background check. The press, he said,
was only trying to create a “faux media scandal” designed to “destroy the first
female Republican nominee for the vice president of the United States.”

During her convention speech, Palin accused the media of crucifying her because
she’s not a member of the “Washington elite.” When hearing this, Tennessee and
Illinois delegates stood up, pointed fingers at the NBC booth and jeered
newsman Tom Brokaw.

The party has a willing ally over at Fox News Channel. A few days ago, former
Bush strategist Karl Rove, now a Fox News analyst, opined with colleague Bill
O’Reilly about the media’s attempts to “wipe out” Palin so Obama could win.

On another episode of O’Reilly’s show, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich
trotted out results from a recent Rasmussen survey indicating that more than
half of U.S. voters (51 percent) think reporters are trying to hurt Palin and
help Obama.

Gee, are these folks talking about the same media outlets that ran month after
month of coverage on Obama’s alleged ties to Islamic extremists or Nation of
Islam leader Louis Farrakhan or convicted developer Tony Rezko? Wasn’t Obama
pilloried when he flip-flopped his stance on wiretapping?

Was it Obama-loving media outlets that pushed story after story about missing
flag pins, Michelle Obama’s patriotism and Obama’s so called “elitist
attitude”? And remember what happened after he called some white, working-class
voters in Pennsylvania and Indiana bitter and frustrated?

Of course, who can forget Obama’s former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. The
minister’s controversial rants were played continuously on the airwaves for
days. And everywhere Obama turned, reporters demanded he explain his
relationship with Wright or declare his unequivocal allegiance to America.

Can you imagine the media backing off if Obama had a pregnant teen daughter? I
have to agree with author Dan Savage, who said the news would be nothing short
of all-out feeding frenzy.

Obama has been especially challenged on the experience question. Despite the
efforts to exaggerate her credentials, Palin lacks foreign policy and hands-on
national legislative experience. If it’s fair for Obama to be questioned, Palin
needs to face the fire, too.

If elected, Palin would be a heartbeat away from running the country. We need
to know everything about the exciting but relatively unknown VP candidate.

I want to know exactly what she meant when she told church members that troops
fighting in Iraq are on a “task that is from God.” Now that she has a pregnant
daughter, will Palin advocate shrinking national funding for programs aimed at
helping pregnant teens? That’s what she did as governor when she cut money for
Covenant House Alaska, a transitional home for teenage mothers.

Palin needs to be asked how she’s going to deal with a bungled war, bloated oil
company profits and ballooning food and gas prices.

I hope my colleagues grill Palin as hard as they’ve grilled Team Obama.

Her GOP supporters can’t pre-empt the media, not yet anyway. Friends, stand
your ground, look ’em in the eye and boldly ask:

“Just who do you think you are, Hugo Chavez?”

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The Man Bible 5: Never Change Your Mind To Please Your Woman

You should always listen to your woman, and then make your own decision.  If you choose to go with your woman’s suggestion even when deep in your heart you feel that another decision is more wise, you are in effect saying, “I don’t trust my own wisdom.”  You are weakening yourself by telling yourself this.  You are weakening your woman’s trust in you: why should she trust your wisdom if you don’t.  – David Deida

This is one of first of many subtle lessons I started to learn in this book regarding women.  My logical thinking leads me to believe that women are as straight out and plain as men are.  Certainly they can be just as opinionated and stubborn as men.   When she says something I’m thinking that she means exactly what she says.  (More in the coming post regarding this ignorant state of mind on my part.) 

My background has been one that has allowed for a certain amount of “accommodation” to the women in my life.  Meaning that sometimes when we both disagree strongly about a particular direction we should take regarding whatever subject, if she protest enough it’s not unusual for me to give in for the sake of pleasing her.  The reasons vary from wanting to keep the peace to appeasement.  One would think (logically) that the woman would appreciate the humility of a man who would acquiesce.  I think she still would if the situation fits the criteria where my mind is genuinely changed because I see her point of view is better than mine.  However, if I do it for any other reason it surely will lead to a loss of respect and eventually a loss of trust in my abilities to lead.

Let me be clear: I totally respect a woman’s mind and her ability to see things that I can’t.  I believe that’s one of the reasons that two can indeed be better than one.  No matter how brilliant the man or woman, we all have our blind-spots.  We are all shaped by a set of values that have been developed over time, circumstance and environment.  Some of the best advice I ever had were from women who showed me the error in my judgment.  At the same time, I believe inherently that in most cases and in most relationships, the woman is looking for a man to lead the direction of the couple/family.  Its not that she can’t do it herself, but if she wanted to why would she need him?  A man’s role is to lead – To handle business and responsibility.  To take the pressure of having to be the dominate decision making figure in the relationship.  Some who may hold to the feminist way of thinking may protest.  But again I believe most women desire this of the man she is with.  She wants him to have the intelligence to think, the fortitude to choose and the courage to carry out and take responsibility for what happens.  I think most women desire this as she genuinely believes the man loves her and is capable of being a good leader. 

Again this does not negate the value of the woman’s intelligence, skill or perspective.  This is not a compare and contrast.  Let’s face it, in many relationships the woman’s mind is far superior to her man’s.  I gather that to most women the thing that attracts her most is not necessarily his mind, though she does want someone whom she can relate to.  Its his ability to get things done in her life.   He can be the most sophisticated, open-minded, and articulate cat in town.  But if he can’t lead, make decisions and stand by them, she won’t care to keep him.

Perhaps this explains why some of the most sophisticated sisters go for rough-neck men.   He may be dumb as a box of rocks, but he can get things done and make her feel protected. 

Finally, the most important part of this lesson is understanding the damage it can cause a relationship when a man does not lead from his core and trust his own judgment.  A man makes himself weak by second guessing his own core.  Then he hurts his chance for clarity for future decision making opportunities.  Like they say in spades, “Think long think wrong!”  On the other hand, if the woman feels like she MUST take charge, she will feel like a mommy taking care of a little boy.  If she has kids already she will count you among them.  This turns her off spiritually and sexually as well.  It is better for a man to listen fully to his woman, look at what is before him and make the best decision based on his internal compass.  Even if he is wrong he will learn and be better for it.  So will she.

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Housing Market Sucks For Everyone!

Need a crib in Eastern Pennsylvania?  This one listed by Allen Iverson of the Denver Nuggets is on sale for a bargain price of $4 million, despite the fact that he paid $5 million for it in 2003.  It seems that Iverson and his wife Tawanna have not been able to unload the home since he was traded to the Nuggets almost two years ago. 

This is definitely the buyers market – and if you got 4 million laying around you may want to check this one out or some of the other more traditionally expensive homes. 

Here are the specs:

The six-bedroom home is on four acres that include a pool house, stream and waterfall. The chateau-style home on Chateau Lane has four levels including a great room with floor-to-ceiling Palladian windows. The master suite has his and hers marble bathrooms, a coffee bar, media area and a veranda overlooking the grounds. There are four additional en-suite bedrooms and a separate guest quarters with a bedroom, living room and kitchenette. The entertainment level has a 12-seat movie theater, billiard room, and a lounge with a custom wood carved bar accommodating 200+ wine bottles.

Sweet!  I’ll think about it~

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Droppin’ It Like Its Hot… Today

Its funny – I had never been a huge Eric Benet fan.  Thats almost by default though.  You see I have a lot of his music, and I really do enjoy his old school R&B flavor.  But for some reason I just never really took his music too seriously.  Perhaps it was his pretty boy image I shunned.  Kind of like watching Shamar Moore in movies.  I would say to myself, “If that n*gga wasn’t all pretty nobody would cast him.”  Perhaps it was the fairy tale failed marriage to Halle Berry.  “How can you mess that up brotha?  Damn! You IDIOT!!”  I don’t know. 

I gave Benet another chance over a year ago when I listened to his CD titled, “Hurricane.”  And though I didn’t care for the hit single, “I Wanna Be Loved, ” (perhaps cause radio tends to repeat songs so much they make me outright HATE them) I did enjoy most of the rest.  Then I got into his older stuff and enjoyed that too.

Now I am a big fan of his music and I really dig the new single, “Your The Only One.”  Talk about HOT.  That is the JAM!  His new CD is drops today and I will be picking it up with the quickness – at least this week when my personal music source hooks me up!  Benet’s music may be growing on me, but I also think he’s growing period.  The songs are mature – definitely not catering to the kids.  This is grown folks music – and I look forward to flowing with the vibes from a cat that puts me in the mind of classic R&B romantic songs.

 

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Sporting At It’s Dummest!!

 

Memo to Monta Ellis, the talented young star guard with the Golden State Warriors: When you have the priviledge of playing in the NBA and you get a huge contact extenstion to the tune of $66 million dollars, you don’t put that in jeapordy by doing activities that put your body at risk. 

Ask Jay Williams, formerly of the Chicago Bulls or Kellen Winslow of the Browns who almost threw away a career before he could step on an NFL field because he wanted to do bike tricks.  Fellas listen up!  Your body is your meal ticket.  You do not jeapordize it by doing stupid things even if you think you are immortal. 

And if you happen to take your chances anyway and get burned, whatever you do – please don’t lie to the team about it.  They have doctors that are smarter than you!  They can tell if you roll your ankle playing basketball or if your free wheeling it on your ATV.  These guys put major jack on the line and they expect you to honor the physical restrictions on your contract.  Still since you messed up it would have been much better to fess up right away and taking the fine and the bad pub for putting your career and the Warriors season in jeapordy.  Instead you made up the, “I was playing basketball” lie and now the team is pissed!  And they should be.  Is it too much to ask for a baller to value his most precious commodity?  Come on Monta!

If you want to go Evel Knievel or try your hand at the X-Games – do yourself, the team, and us fans a favor and go for it after you’re done with the sport that pays your bills!

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Sporting At It’s Best!!!!

Serena Williams hits a backhand during her 6-4, 7-5 victory over Jelena Jankovic to capture last night's U.S. Open crown.

Big ups to Serena Williams for winning the US Open this past weekend.   She performed magnificently and the best part about it was seeing the pure joy in her eyes and on her smile as she jumped up and down for joy after the final point.   It was back to the basics of pure sport, competition and the joy of accomplishment. 

In this day and age of controversy, sterioids, gambling and the likes, between some of what I have seen when Tiger won his last match despite torn knee ligaments, this summer with some of the Olympics and this US Open Championship, the kid in me was satisfied with the genuine love of sport and competition.

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The Man Bible 4: Always Hold To Your Deepest Realization

Make your life an ongoing process of being who you are, at your deepest most easeful levels of being.  Everything other than this process is secondary.  Your job, your children, your wife, your money, your artistic creations, your pleasures – they are all superficial and empty, if they are now floating in the deep sea of your conscious loving.  – David Deida

This was rather deep for me.  Not because I didn’t recognize the principle.  But because I have – deep in the portals of my soul I have.  I had never heard it said in audible language.  So I didn’t have anything to reference it to.  But I have heard this message more than once. 

As I find myself living, part of my challenge has been to prioritize my life.  Specifically I mean my schedule in terms of how I arrange my time for work, (as in corporate) vocation, (as in life’s purpose,personal dreams and goals), task (as in the mundane assignments such as going to the bank, paying bills, going to the grocery store etc. ) time for family, friends.  And the all important down time I so desperately need just to keep my spirit calm.  My deepest desire is to first go after that which pertains to my life’s purpose.  When I write I feel so fulfilled.  Flowing in this gift and expressing my heart in this form give me a great sense of purpose.  And even if no one reads what I write, still inside I am satisfied and feel as if my life is productive and valid.  There is so much inside of me and its liberating when I can exhale thoughts to words which can be read and understood.  It brings an even brighter clarity to what is within. 

However, what often happens is that I delay the use of my gifts in favor of the other areas mentioned.  (anything outside of my core purpose) I also feel good when I am on top of my business.   So making a list on my calendar and following it to completion also gives me some degree of personal satisfaction.  Certainly this is significant because I can’t just roll with my head to the sky all the time.   A man has to be able to take care of business.  But I find that even if I complete everything on my list, if I do not tap into my core purpose at some point I become restless and edgy. 

Then there are other distractions that I allow to take a front seat to my purpose.  There is entertainment such as television and sports.  There is my social life wanting to get out and play.  Sometimes its just busy-work.  I often said that I have more stuff goin on than the president.  Most all things are OK within their respective places.  There is nothing wrong with watching TV, enjoying entertainment, socializing, playing video games or whatever.  The problem becomes when these things take priority over pursuit of the reason God created me – therefore neglecting to sharpen, enhance and share them with a world who depends on them to contribute a harmony that would otherwise not be achieved.  The same could be said for anyone. 

All of the things mentioned in Deida’s paragraph above are important.  They are a part of both the pleasures and responsibilities that go with living a productive and balanced life.  However, they are all to fall under subjection to the will of The Creator.  Many people are out of balance.  It’s common to hear of someone so consumed with work or ministry that they neglect their family for instance.  I tend to believe that if we operate under the tutelage of our hearts surrendered to The Master, while sometimes the work we do may cause our loved ones to make a sacrifice in terms of our time, neglect would never occur.  The Universe is always in balance – as we should be.

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The Man Bible 3 – Live With An Open Heart, Even If It Hurts

Live With An Open Heart Even If It Hurts

 

Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man’s true nature.  A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt.  If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one.  He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place. – David Deida

 

Oh boy!  This is a head banger for me!  WHAT?  Are you kidding?  Closing down in the midst of pain is my specialty.  And why shouldn’t it be?  Who wants to continue to punish themselves by subjecting themselves to further pain whether it is by way of cruelty or rejection from friends, a lover or whomever? 

 

I read this one and had to pause.  When I am confronted with these words, pain and bad taped memories rush to my mind and consciousness.  It would seem the logical thing to do, the smart and intelligent thing to do, the way that leads to survival is to step away from the pain as quickly and as completely as possible.  If you burn your hand on the stove do we leave it there for more?  I have gotten by some 40 years by doing this – though I have been known to stand and face some hard confrontations.

 

I can think of times when one of my daughters seemed to act as if she wanted nothing to do with me in spite of my coming to her time and time again.  I would explain possible misunderstandings to her and clear the air though I knew she was often stubborn or the recipient of bad information. After a while I would say to myself, “How many times must I come to you?  You are old enough to take a step yourself.  I am tired of putting myself out there to be rejected!”  Sometimes those close to me would say that I should keep extending the open arms regardless.  They say she will come back around and see that you were down with her all the time.  Hmmm.

 

My spirit man understands fully the need to remain open and to love unconditionally through my pain.  It recognizes that this is essential to true and authentic love being displayed.  It resonates with the fact that often it takes this kind of love to break the walls of pain in the heart of others in order to heal, cleanse, and initiate the process of reconciliation.  It understands fully well that this is totally necessary.  And yet in my present state I have not attained.  Sure there have been times where I have stepped to the plate to take some more swings during the process of spiritual and emotional battles.  These are occasions when I seek that small glimmer of hope that the reaction to my attempts will be welcomed and accepted. But for the most part, I run like hell from pain.  The funny part is that rarely does it ever work.  If anything I can temporarily suppress it with self mediated methods.  But that only last for so long. 

 

I know that I need to grow in this area.  And I believe I will.  I have to learn to turn pain in to my friend and see it as a challenge that calls for my best to overcome.  My mind gets it.  My heart understands it.  For this to become who I am however will only come by experience.  And in the midst of the heat it’s hard to see the other side. Brothers and sisters I readily admit – I am not there yet.  But I want to be. I will strive to be.  Lord help me.

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The Man Bible 2:Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life

Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life

 

Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done.  They think, “If I can work enough, then one day I could rest.” Or, “One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining.” Or, “I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.”  The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way.  They won’t.  It never ends.  As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.  – David Deida

 

A scripture came to mind to me when I read this for the first time. 

 

Genesis 8:22 For as long as Earth lasts,  planting and harvest, cold and heat,  Summer and winter, day and night will never stop.”

 

This to me refers to the cycles of life.  Though each day has its own special gifts and opportunities to present, there are some basic fundamentals that will never change.  Planting and harvest talks about labor or putting in work, as well as receiving rewards for that work.  Cold and heat are about the ups and downs we experience during this journey.  Regardless of how well we lead our lives, none of us are exempt from difficulties, challenges, hurtful experiences and losses.  If we hang in there we will also have our experiences of unspeakable joy as well.

 

As a man, I find that I enjoy doing and completing task.  Completing task solves problems.  And yet I find that I can complete a task and think I have graduated that particular lesson – sometimes only to battle the same things over again.  Something or someone is always in some sort of need – as am I.  I have often though that once I get a particular lesson everything will be ok.  Once I understand and walk in a principle things will change.  But as the writer says, they do not.  The only thing that can change is me.  I can get better, develop more understanding and attain strategies to operate more smoothly through adversity. 

 

The issue is not solving all the problems in my life. (Though I am a problem solver by nature)   The issue is to learn from the lessons and grow into a person who transcends my challenges, embracing the flow of yin and yang – understanding that some basic lessons are taught over again in varying degrees.  I suppose this is what it means in understanding that life is not about the destinations but the journey.  If I journey well, I will reach certain destinations.  But like one of those video games the levels just keep coming and with the new levels come new degrees of difficulties.  The further I go, the more “points” I can gain as my skill level increases.  I become qualified for more challenges, but the game will never end.

 

In terms of dealing with the woman who complains or doesn’t seem to ever understand me, Deida says it best:

 

The feminine always seems chaotic and complicated from the perspective of the masculine.  The next time you notice yourself trying to fix your woman so that she will no longer __________ (fill in the blank), relax and give her love by touching her and telling her that you love her when she is this way.  (whatever you filled in the blank with) Embrace her or wrestle with her, or scream and yell for the heck of it, but make no effort to bring an end to that which pisses you off.  Practice love instead of trying to bring an end to the quality that bothers you.  You can’t escape the tussle with the feminine. Learn to find the humor in the unending emotional drama the feminine seems to enjoy so much.  The love that you magnify may realign her behavior, but your effort to fix her and your frustration never will.

 

Can the church say Amen?

 

By the way, I decided to roll with this topic every weekday till it’s done.  If I decide to write about something else as well – I will.  But for me this is what is hot.  So I will ride it out. 

 

Tomorrow, “Live With An Open Heart, Even If It Hurts.”